Ferrero Rocher

And the beau arrived in front of the apartment after he told me over the phone half an hour earlier that he was caught in the jam. And I looked at him, the same man whose stuble was freshly groomed earlier the day I presumed. He looked back, and with this same expression none excited nor frustrated but a mix of curious and anxious, "what?"

"Nothing, just looking at my dear." I said. And turned to look at the road again. Cars were moving at snail-speed especially when it's in the fasting month and everyone's heading to the nearest restaurant to break fast or perhaps, their home.

He extended his hands over the sling pouch and opened the zip. We were talking about the selfish drivers of the city and how they were driving like crazy people who barely passed their traffic laws and what not, and I thought he wanted to take out his digital camera.

Except that this time, his "digital camera" appeared to be of a brand called "Ferrero Rocher".

"For my dear." He said while he was half trying to concentrate on the road and looking at me at the same time.

Sweet!

"Aww... Why are you wasting your money on these... I didn't even get anything for you!" And I felt so bad because I never gotten him anything before. Like, yeah, NONE!

"Just because. And I noticed my dear's pretty down lately too. So chocolate would do just fine to cheer you up."

I looked at him and smiled. "Can I open it now? You could make use of some yourself too." Knowing he'd probably lose his temper soon with all the traffics as such.

"Up to you, it's yours now. I can't find any of heart shaped, but I suppose this will do."

Are you kidding me? Of course it does! Anything would do. For all that he has done for me, and for all that we had gone through together, do you really think I would mind gifts still? Although, heart shaped chocolate would look pretty, erm, girlie to me. LOL.

Happy anniversary my darling... Love you lots.

Zanmai Sushi

I extended my hand beneath the table, and reached for the beau's thigh. His muscular quads is wrapped tightly under those jeans. Mmmh... Yummy... And before I knew it, the naughty hand was down around his crotch while he was flipping through the menu, stroking a few strokes with the intention of waking that giant up.

No response. And he continued to ask what I wanted despite me repeating, anything.

I opened his flyer, and slowly let the fingers crawled into the pants, reaching for that treasure. I pulled on the rubber edge of his undies and tried to poke the dragon while stroking on the back of the sleeping monster.

Still no response.

I pulled out the entire shaft, out from flyers beneath the table, and slowly stroke it. Rolling my thumbs over the glans of the penis, pre-cum were secreted soon enough, acting as the lubricants. Slowly, the dragon was finally waking up. It was pulsating under my fingers as I continued to stimulate on the glans.

No response.

When the giant was finally awake, standing erected beneath the table, I stroke it from the terminal of the shaft down to the base, slowly, and slowly increasing the speed.

No response still.

I increased my stroking speed, and I could feel the glans of the penis growing larger, and the pulsation was more obviouse. The beau fidgeted a little, but still trying to keep his cool, pretending not to feel anything.

As I felt the muscle rod contracting, when the milk was just about to be ejaculated, the waiter came. Damn!

Just kidding. LMAO. Dinner in Sushi Zanmai was uneventful, except from the fact that we were placed in small cubicles at the further inner part of the restaurant, just big enough to fit 2 person. Cute cubicle was my first word when we were led there. But the beau was obviously claustrophobic with such a small confinement. Had our dinner and finally left about 2 hours later.

Negative Man

I'm a negative man. And the beau is a positive man.

It took me weeks to get over a disappointments at work and I would sulk about it all day and all night and every day for the rest of the week. I don't feel good about it, but I just couldn't help it. It's in the heart and I just don't feel like doing anything. For the past week after I came back from Bangkok, I started to get busy with work, what's more with all the failed hopes that I caused in the company, I was even more discouraged.

I got tired and really depressed with work at the moment. My colleagues who were with Bangkok with me, they were all so energetic and, well yeah, we were all disappointed so to speak. But I just couldn't find the energy to move on like how they do.

Having said that, it's a bad feeling when the beau tried so hard to help cheer me up and it was all in vain.

"How come the same face, no expression at all? I thought a weekend back to your hometown to calm down would help." He spoke after meeting me for the first time since I got back from my short break.

"Can't expect myself to smile when I still feel as though I'm useless right?"

"Am not asking you to put on a false smile. I like my dear to be himself. But being in this way for a prolonged period isn't going to help. Come on, give me a smile."

I did forced a smile. Not exactly a forced one, the beau does cheer me up sometimes. Actually most of the time. Going out with him for a short dinner would always puts all the troubles and worries behind. And he knew he'd be looking at a tensed and emotionless face whenever we were to go back to our own home. I wished we never had to... Perhaps in the future. But alas, at the time being, us living in different places, being away from the beau reminds me of all the hardship I have to face again the following day at work. It sucks big time really.

I really wished I could find my confidence back again. It really means a lot to see me achieve success for once. I mean, at least to prove to my family and myself that I'm not as useless as I thought I am.

And what matters most, I really wish to share my success with the beau. Apart from my family.

"I shall be your photographer on the day when you hold that award in front of the company logo. Free of charge." That's what he always said to encourage me. For the positivity that he has and channels to me, I sincerely hope that my negativity would fade away...

Early Celebration

We didn't celebrate our 2nd and our 3rd anniversary because we were busy and were preoccupied. Him with his proffesional exam and me with my job. Next week onwards, there's more meetings and travelling coming my way. It didn't occured to me that we're coming towards the end of the month again. It's probably coming to the 11th month of our first meeting face to face, I'm not quite sure myself. But it's definitely the time where we'd look back and think, whoa, we happened...

"Dear, are you free on Friday night?" The beau asked me this afternoon.

"Should be okay. Can arrange some time. Why? I thought we're going out on Saturday?"

Knowing so that we'll be hitting the gym together like how we used to before we were even a couple.

"We could use up our Zanmai Sushi voucher... It's expiring remember?"

"Yes. Still a week to go."

"But you'll not be around next weekend..."

And he knows that I would be preoccupied with my work and I had to tend to the old folks' visiting town for a trip before heading over to the Island in the East.

"True..."

"It's our anniversary remember?"

I just smiled. He remembers.

Two months back we went to Zanmai Sushi for some hearty Japanese meal when we were given this RM10 voucher, expiring on the 31st of August. It was a few times that we mentioned about it, but heading over to the packed One Utama and The Garden just seemed unappealing, let alone Sunway Pyramid which seems so far from both of us nowadays, not to mention the overbearing parking in that mall. Therefore I've been having the voucher in my wallet for the past two months now, and we're using it up tomorrow night.

What a bliss! Our anniversary dinner in a Japanese restaurant. We decided to head over to the Garden as it was of the easiest accessibility despite One Utama being the nearest. Fair enough for me considering the mall in Damansara would be packed on a Friday night. Having said that, yes it's true that the sushi place in the Gardens wouldn't be any better as well. But ah well, Gardens it is then.

4 months down the road. What should I say? I still love him as much, more and more every day. He's who I want to be with. For he has, in all ways, supported me through the hardship and encouraged me when I'm stuffed with predicaments.

And every seconds that I'm still breathing, I'm so glad that we are together.

I love you, my dear.

Sending You The Last SMS

I walked to the International Terminal as the handsome Thai man checked my passport and my boarding pass. With a heavy heart, I was thinking how should I ever face the dim of KL again. Yes of course the beau will be there, but I suppose the anger and this cynical smirk of all those colleagues as well as the anger faces of the superiors. Man, the feeling of failing to seal off a contract is as bad as failing my finals back when I was in university...

As I board the plane, I sent the last text message to the beau in KL.

"Am gonna board the plane now. See you soon."

Throughout the flight, I was thinking of how I should be facing the superiors, why I failed to garnered the trust and sealed off this contract I've been working on. I don't believe it was my communication skills, and this is indeed a good deal. Just somehow, out of no where it seems that the clients decided to go for another company, like just one hour before we meet up. What happened then, I have no idea. Madam Boss would be furious... Let's just hope she would be alright after I explained... But knowing her, she's one whom you can't mess with... Gosh... my first assignment overseas and I failed...

The journey home wasn't that smooth. The plane jerked and plummered a few times. It was fun rather than just a smooth journey throughout. But looking out of the windows, and all I could see was dark clouds, all those nasty thoughts came in mind.

What if the plane crashed?

And I thought I'd send the last message to my loved ones right before I die. Or right before the plane explode.

"I love you. I'm really happy to know you." Sent. And "Ka-Boooom"!!!! I died instantly. Exploded into pieces and spread throughout wherever the plane crashed. Sea or jungle.

But I was in time to get the message sent to the family members, as well as the beau. And they'd be wondering why all of a sudden, and before I even reached my destination. But as the plane plunged lower into the atmosphere when the phone signal could be received, that was when I got all the messages sent.

2 hours later when the news came out, AirAxxx crashed on the way from Bangkok to KL.

And the family as well as the beau would be looking at the text message, wondering if it really was me who sent the message.

Sexy Butt

Face it people, it'll be a lie if you tell me physical appearance doesn't matter in a relationship. It's the first thing that gives you the first impression, good or bad, that's another matter altogether. There was once when the beau asked me what sort of men do I like. Well, that was after I asked him another question earlier.

"Dear, would you mind if I look at other men in the gym?"

"Why of course, it'll be a problem if you don't."

Green lights! For eye candy cruising.

Anyways, in return to his question, I showed him a picture. Tall. Buffed up. Big chest. Big arms. Big thighs. Big cocks. LMAO. Mmm yummy.

But I know the limits. And I'm so damn thankful I'm in a relationship with this special man. So I said, I love you for who you are, and not how you look like.

Although, well yes, there was a pinch of attraction in his physique from the start. Being a gym freak that he was, he's been in his present shape since, I don't know how long ago. 5 ft 8, 73kg. Ideal height and weight doncha think? There's no big chest and big arms as how I would always fantasize, but yeah, the beau is lean and toned and has got this rock-hard washboard abs. To top that off, his personality and characters. Perfect husband.

So it was only lately when we were staying together and got less shy of being totally nude around each other that I checked out his butt whenever he headed for shower. Ohh man... Gives me the hardon everytime. Not exactly a bubble butt, but bubbly enough to attract anybody out there to bite it. And when he bends over to pick up his stuff from the bag, his balls hung low and heavy. And his asscarck...

Okay I shall stop. The beau's reading.

Writer's Block

Aha.

There was one night when I was dancing the fingers away on the keyboard of my lappie when the beau leaned over from his side of the bed, looking at what I was doing. Not that I mind about it, after all monogamy is all about not keeping secrets from each other right? But having said that, we both understand the concept of private space.

Anyways, back to that night, while I was all serious with this wrinkles on my head trying to get the sentences right, the beau just stared at the screen. And I knew there and then that he aws reading as I typed.

Then finally, I turned to him and said, "Writer's block."

"Okay okay, I won't read I won't read... Carry on carry on."

It seemed that since the beau found out about ps I love you, he's been following the blog. Surprised? Not really. He knew that I've had a thing for writing, and well, I guessed I never got the chance to go into some big shot magazines as writers after I graduate. Or perhaps, I failed to write something as lavishly as William Shakespeare...

So here's the thing about why I started blogging. It's a platform for me to write. Perhaps as a fiction story writer. Just that, if you might want to know, the stories revolves around the daily happenings between a real life couple. Attention seeker, you might say. But who cares right? We're all at some point and to some extend. So suck it up and do what you like! LOLZ.

Oh well, the beau seemed to have one new thing to talk about nowadays that I'm writing. While we were on bed that night, and me having the laptop on the bed, he asked me about the blog.

"When's your new post coming up?"

"Why?? I don't have to write everyday right?"

"Of course you have to... You've got eager readers out there waiting to read."

"Yeah? Like who?"

"Mmm... Perhaps your followers on the blog?"

"Look who's talking."

And we ended smooching away. Right after I finished that post.

On the Sexcited Boy

The beau and I are opening up more day by day.

We did not hook up on Fridae or Gaydar, though I was at some point, hunting for men in there, but alas I decided to give up as most of the men that I went out with ended up with sex and well, nothing further. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I made sure my partner were satisfied with my dick in their asses. So... I stopped hunting and a few months later, the beau happened. And amazingly, not from Fridae or Gaydar.

We dated like how a normal straight boy would to a girl. Went out for supper after our classes, and slowly it progressed to dinners and lunches, and hanging out all day in Starbucks on the weekends, and we made it to the movies, and trips and finally, yeah he proposed, and I accepted.

Politely.

We were so polite at first that, well, I have to admit that I was not feeling really that all sexed up when I spent time with him. I mean, after all, we had been friends for so long, and never once I seen him naked, not even shirtless, let alone in his underwear. So it only happened in our first trip together that we got naked together on bed... Oh well... parts and parcel of a relationship.

So anyways, there was one night when he drove around town when we missed one junction and we had to drove further up the road to make a big turn so that we could get home. I wasn't sure what put the beau in such a jolly after he withdrew some money from the bank, perhaps he was all sexcited anticipating the hot sexy raunchy rodeo ride that night. And since he was in his chitty chatty mode, he spoke non-stop, yada this yada that.

"We might have to pass through the chickens lane."

"The what?"

"The chickens."

"Oh... Ooh WOOOO!!! Let's go let's go!"

"Whoa whoa! Since when my dear got all sexcited with chicks?"

Hmm... maybe since I haven't had any sexposure for the past one week? LMAO.

And well, if you were expecting detail steps by steps story as to how we progress in bed, perhaps there are more explicit blogs out there. I prefer to be a, hmm, provocative writer. But here's a header, we started off surfing the net, naked.

How could I care for you??

The beau and I decided to take the weekend off sometime ago for our anniversary. We haven't had much time for trips and we've wanted to since the longest time ever. Well, partly it was due to myself. I was tied down with the work and dateline and ugh. So when the Queen of Narnia finally approved my leave for Friday and Monday, we took off driving to some UNESCO site 4 hours away.

See, the beau isn't that much of a guy who fall sick easily. Having been avid gymmer, the both of us, or so I thought I am, we're out of bound from being down with fever or flu. Well, perhaps I'm the weaker one between us both. So that day when he came to pick me up from my place, I noticed he looked terrible, and tired.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah yeah I'm fine, why?"

"You don't look fine. Are you sure you can drive?"

"Of course... just a bit of dry throat... but that's all. Don't worry dear."

We made it to our booked hotel that night. After having our dinner and some dramas not-worth mentioning at this Chinaman stall, we headed back to our room. I didn't know what to do. The beau was tired and looked exhausted. I mean, well it's natural to be tired from driving long distance, but he looked extremely worn out. It wasn't long before I think he's down with fever. He finally admitted that he was too. Stubborn man he was.

That night, I stayed up while looking at this man sleep. We opened the window instead. Not the policy of the hotel, but who cares. He was sleeping all so soundly on bed. I had him this children fever cooling bad that I got from the convenient store downstairs. On and off while I was chatting away with my cousin overseas, I turned to look at the man I love all so dearly.

"I'll be the good boy tonight then." He smiled when I came back into the room with the pad earlier.

"Be a good child and rest early." I said.

I was clueless as to how I could help. I don't know what medications to get him, and even if I know, I wouldn't know where to either. This place isn't exactly my territory... The cousin told me to just let him rest. He probably was just down with mild bouts of fever, and will be up and about the next day if he sweats that night.

True enough, he sweated pail underneath the comforter. And we spent the rest of our holidays in heaven...

Shoulda just let me know!

It has been a norm over the past few weeks since I moved house that, I'll walk out to the bus-stop a stone's throw away from my run-down flat, so that the beau wouldn't need to turn into the small rugged lane to pick me up. Being all considerate I am.

Despite being run-down and all, well at least I think it's pretty comfortable after refurnishing and what nots, and well, I'm now closer to the beau. In terms of distance of course.

The other day when we planned to hit town for our usual hanging out in the regular cafe, I was all ready to head out to the bus-stop when I realized it was drizzling. And my first thought would be to give him a call and told him I better stay in and wait for him. But on second thought, why be a sissy when he's been the one driving out and pick me up all these while? And so, I braved myself, sheltering whenever possible and reached the bus-stop in 10 minutes.

That was when I realized I had a miscall from the beau and a text message to which I failed to answer promptly. I called him without hesitant.

"Hey, where are you now? Is it raining at your place?" His unusually concerned voice traveled through before I could say hi.

"No no, I'm already at the bus stop."

"You should've just let me know and I'll come in to pick you up! Is it raining heavily?"

"No no, it was just a drizzle. Where are you now?"

"Be there in 5. See you later."

There was this bout of concern with a tinge of anger. Or that was how I interpreted it. The first time, but I guess it was just out of concern really. We had this talk earlier that we should be straight-forward to each other and not to keep things to ourselves. Therefore, he told me from the start that it is his nature and sometimes, he might be too straight-forward that I would feel hurt. Well, at least he gave me a warning. LOL.

And so, we headed to our regular couch in the city for a lazy Sunday afternoon.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"Your voice is different. And you sounded as if you have a flu."

"It was the haze. I have sensitive nose."

And now I'm wondering how could I help...

P.S. I Love You

Sometimes it takes a mistake to realise that, the other half that you've been searching for, or maybe waiting for, is just around you. But most often than not, that mistake that you've done, was never reversible. But I guess I should be ever so glad and grateful, for what I let go, came back to me.

To keep the long story short, what started as a meet up in the buffet restaurant more than half a year ago, has now turned into a relationship that I could not find any words to substitute. Three months down the memory lane of what we both never thought would be, we're looking at a future we have no idea of.

Rest assured, I want you to be by my side when I'm there, in the future. And I want to be by your side, no matter how you're doing. Because you are the best thing that happened to me so far. Well, maybe amongst the many best things that happened. But you are, the one that I've been waiting for.

And this shall be an online journal of what we are to each other, for as long as it will be. Because when we're drinking to our 20th year anniversary in 2029, we'll look back at this post and laugh at how childish I was back when I was younger. Oh I know you'll be laughing... Just say cheers now shall we?

P.S. I Love You.