Sexless couple

I was talking to a very dear friend over MSN the other day. Having his beau away overseas, I understand what he was going through when he said he was going wacko missing his hubby. Somehow, as he was one of the first to find out about me in a relationship, he asked me how is things on my end!

"We're great. Just sexless for the past few weeks, cuz everytime there's something in the way. Either he has ulcer, or I have ulcer, or my anus tear, or he's not in the mood, or I'm too tired, or he needs to work. So in the end, we always ended cuddling each other to sleep. But it's okay, I'm enjoying the company very much. We're just an old sexless couple."

He didn't reply for a few minutes.

But the next thing came in all in CAPS.

"SO CUTE!!! KAWAIIII!!!!!!"

Minute Loss

I was at one time pretty slimmed down after those excessive time spent in the gym a few months ago. Apparently, workloads somehow tied me down and I've since cut down my time in the gym, until recently, when things started to pick up again. I'm not as free as I was back then, definitely not as fanatic, but I've at least been consistently going to the cardio classes in the gym for the past one month.

Not so much of a lean body I have, sorry to disappoint you, but I have been feeling slimmer myself. *Ahem, narcissistic me >.<*

But then again, I guessed my feelings were proven right when the beau complimented the other day.

"You look different today." He said.

"Huh? How?"

"I don't know, somehow you look slimmer..." He said, pretty suspiciously.

"No lah."

I denied, squeezing on the spare tire I still have on my waist. Bloody stubborn love handles just didn't seem to want to go away!

"No I mean it, you do look slightly slimmer." He said. "SLIGHTLY la" Emphasising on that word.

swt. Ugh. I need to stay in a gym. >.<

Brokeback Mountain

It was the first gay-themed movie that I watched before. Jake Gyllenhaal kept my eyes locked on him although Heath Ledger has got the body to die for. But I suppose I'd pick a boyfriend in Jake rather than Heath, and I'd prolly drool over Heath while I'm with Jake, since I won't actually sleep with Heath. And Jake would prolly got so fed up with me cruising Heath, and start complaining and that's when I'll stop cruising and start kissing him. >.<

To cut the crap short, we were out in the mall when I caught hold of a fine caucasian man. 6' tall, balding, sideburns, well built body with big muscular chest and big biceps. He was looking at some belts.

We walked passed him to find there was another Asian guy standing next to him, picking on them belts.

*Gaydar ringing* RRIIIIINNNGGGGGGG!!!

Inter-racial couples apparently.

Instantly, the Asian guy turned around. Fucking nice body as well! 5ft11, spikey hair, tanned, toned body, big chest but biceps not as large as the boyfriend's. Definitely hot couple.

Nope, the thought of a threesome didn't come into mind, mind you.

Both the men looked pretty straight. But what gave them away was what the Asian guy wore. A printed shirt, not sure where he got it from, prolly Bangkok.

It read "I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU"

How so ever familiar right? >.<

Now I wonder should I also wear something like that sometimes. LMAO.

Decent Apparel

See, I'm not actually the type who will dress up excessively when I go out, not even when I go to a formal dinner (although sometimes I do wear my Samfu to a dinner). So usually, I'm always seen in my shorts and a normal round neck or a polo-neck t-shirt. And of course, I would be in my sandals or slippers.

Today, I decided to wear my boots that I bought the other day at the Isetan Members' day sale. And to wear that boot with shorts would be so awefully weird. So I decided to go long-legged jeans, as compared to the short-legged jeans that the beau usually would wear.

Therfore, when we went out for dinner, I walked towards him and he looked at me one kind.

"Why you wear so nice today?"

"Is it?"

"You're usually like those Ah Pek one in flip flops one ma."

I looked at him. And I looked at my boots.

"Oooooh! No wonder la...."

Somehow, I'm starting to like this boots already! >.<

Fat Arse

The beau told me of the Isetan Members' Day last week, and we decided to head over to the store after our abs crunching gym classes. Upon arriving, we headed straight to the formal wear sections.

The beau was in need of a tie badly, while I was actually there cruising. For clothes I mean.

I have a full wardrobe of G2000 apparels. Not that I like it, but they made me look slimmer. >.< So, naturally, I would be in that section and rummaged through all those shirts. The shirts looked fine to me, but I was actually looking at the pants, since the pants were on 50% sale as well! See, very rarely we get G2000 pants on sale, but that day all those pants were!

But then...

"There's no size..."

I sighed.

"What's your size?"

He asked so loud some more.

I purposely walked away when there was this autie who was looking through the pants looked up at us. I mean, hello! It's a secret! Even if it's not to the beau, I'd prefer not to announce it in public.

"They're all 28 or 38 and nothing in between."

"What's your size la?" he asked again.

I looked at him, and pursed my lips, giving him a telekinetic message, "Can you stop asking already?!"

"They just wanna clear off the pants for the giants and the matchsticks, nothing for nice arses like mine."

The auntie looked up again.

And I just walked away.

Travelling together

I guess the beau has addiction in traveling with me. Of course I do too. >.<

See, the tickets to Taipei was actually solved because the beau helped me to book online. I don't have a credit card you see, call me whatever you want, but I think credit card is EVIL. LOL. But now that I've got a problem in booking air ticket online, I guess there's some usefulness of them. Therefore, all this while, I've always been purchasing my tickets by cash, or my dad get 'em for me should we be going somewhere for holidays or what nots.

But the trick with buying ticket online to Taiwan, they need verification of the card holder. swt. I can't possible get my dad to purchase for me, since he's not around until Christmas. So... the next person I turned to was of course, none other than the perfect beau.

After the transaction was done, he finally told me about the temptation.

"I was so tempted in purchasing 2 tickets lor."

I only managed to smile in front of my computer screen.

I wished it was for 2 too.

Love you dear...

Moody Week

I have no idea why I've been so moody the past week.

I didn't think it was the workload. I've moved to a new office alright, my colleagues are nice people. My boss may be intimidating at times, but I guess I still can handle them. There's nothing wrong with my family, other than me causing the tension with my mum, probably due to my own moodiness. The beau kept on asking me what was the problem, and I couldn't find any, which pretty much leads to me being grumpy easily whenever we weren't on agreeable terms.

But I know I shouldn't be. And I know I should have talk it out instead. I guess being a Tauran, I do have my own stubborn traits. I pretty much sulk on everything that the beau said regarding how I should sort some stuff, i.e. the upcoming business trip. There's a business trip to Taipei next month, but the company decided to let me book my own tickets. Like, WTF right?

And to top it all, because I actually volunteered to go along with the main negotiator, since no one else wanted to go, the company said I wouldn't be compensated on my expenses. Like WTF! So my colleague decided to share out her sponsorship since I would be her company in Taiwan. And since I wasn't sponsored, and the travel period is already so soon, I guess I got cranky. I've practically check up on all the flights that fly from Kuala Lumpur to Taipei, from Air Asia to MAS, and SIA, Thai Airways, Tiger Airways, EVA Airlines, China Airlines, Korean Air, KLM... you name it, I thought about it.

But thanks to the beau, it's all sorted out. *love you dear* So I'll be flying again on the first week of December. Yeeeeeha!

Cruise

Now talking about cruising instead of being cruised...

Just the other day, the beau and I were at some shopping mall and we walked side by side passing through some shop. We both looked into the shops as there was some sales going on. And coincidently there was a shop assistant standing near the entrance folding some clothes. Who would know, the shop assistant looked up and saw us.

He was young, chinese lad, spikey hair, fair, pretty toned from all the veins in his forearms. Good looking. But not attractive enough to give me a hardon.

We turned away and continued walking.

Just 2 steps away, I turned to look at him again. He was back to his business. But one second later, he looked up again. And he locked his gaze at my stare.

*scandalous*

Nope I don't know him, cross my heart.

Later on when I told the beau that the shop assistant was looked back again, he was quite insistant that the shop assistant was cruising him.

Of course I was being defensive. The shop assistant is a young lad, if he's gay he'd probably looking for younger guys too. Plus, with my boyish face, how could one mistaken who's the older one of us two? (No offense dear, :P)

And then he replied, "Maybe he's into older men."

Well... I couldn't counter that. Speaking from experience. HAHA >.<

Cruised

The beau sometimes would come and tell me after gym that there was a certain guy who hogged the machine just opposite his, and would follow him around whenever he moved to the next machine. Most of the time he'd point out whichever guy that he noticed following him around.

I'd take a look at the guy and said, "Not hot."

But sometimes, I guess some of them gymmers do look pretty delicious. But I know our boundaries. And cruising means, cruising, and it shall stop at that. Even though the beau isn't really physically my type, but he's 80% satisfactory. But I won't complain much. I love him as how and who he is.

Just that sometimes, I'm really curious. The beau isn't someone you'd pick up as a gay guy. He's just too straight to be one. You could hardly tell in fact. And even if you could, that moment would probably be when I'm around him. Not to say that I'm an obvious typical gay guy, but I guess I'm more easily picked up in a gaydar as compared to him. I think.

So sometimes, actually most of the times, I'd definitely look at the guy who cruised him. Those guys aren't obviously gays, but the tendencies of them being one, are pretty high.

I personally never experienced that. I mean being cruised while I was working out. Maybe because I'm not as hunky as the beau. Bleh~

But it's great to see the reaction of them cruisers' faces when they see the both of us together later on. LOL.

Time Together

People say, you won't appreciate the things you have until you lose it.

Sometimes I felt as if I'm taking the beau forgranted as well. (Sorry dear, if you're reading this.) But let me explain. It's just that sometimes, I guess I get to dependant on the beau and I think he'll get the things done for me and save me some work. I know it's bad. I know it's really really bad. But I do not ever mean to have him do all my stuff. Just that, I guess I do love him when he helps me out.

And I really do mean I'm so totally head over heels with him when he helps me out.

So there was once when the beau was asking me about my idea of him switching to a job which requires him to travel away from the city.

2 months ago, I went all sulky and unhappy because I won't be seeing him almost everyday like well, since before we embarked officially on a relationship. You know, it'll be kinda difficult to adapt right?

But now, I guess I can't really expect him to be there for me all the time when I myself am not sure what my schedule will be like next year, considering I'm already in the ladder climbing up to a higher post in my company *woot!* which means, I myself might have to work overtime once a while.

So it's definitely not fair to him.

Therefore, nowadays, I showed my support saying it'll be great. Perhaps I might get the chance to tag along when he flies elsewhere for work too. But deep down, I'm not sure if he knows or not (which he'll probably know after this), I know I'll feel terribly sad when he's away for work.

I think I might need time to get use to him being away once a while. But I definitely know I'll have a hard time adjusting.

Because I love him more and more everyday...

Getting Serious

Sometimes the beau and I, we don't get so serious in our conversation. He'd tease me and tease me even more that at some point I would get really annoyed and frustrated.

So there was this once when he was driving and I was suggesting of some stuff, to which he shot down immediately, like spontaneously. And I got angry. Not really angry per se, but sorta unhappy. So I just kept quiet throughout. I didn't really showed that I was not happy, but I just kept quiet. The next thing he spoke, I just nodded or gave monotonous reply.

And then he asked the same questions that he would most of the time when I'm not in my chatty mood. "Why so emo one?"

I replied, "No lah."

And we were back to where we were. But that didn't mean I was okay already. We talked like usual, until he said something that I couldn't accept, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

That night, I told him about some disagreement. He always like me to be frank with him, so I did. I said sometimes I'm not happy at the way he acted. And he said he was sorry for that, assuming I kept quiet because of the things that he said later.

And I said, "Nolah, I merajuk ma."

He was like, "Oh, really? I didn't know you merajuk one?"

And I was like, "I'm still a human being lah. I get small-hearted also one sometimes."

And so he went, "Aiyo... sorry lor... Ok next time I won't tease you anymore..."

And I was like, "Okay lah."

Won't say too much or else he got all confused again.

Breaking the Eggs

Half boiled eggs mind you.

I have a problem with cracking them half boiled eggs whenever I'm at this kopitiam. The beau and I would usually get ourselves some teh tarik with roti bakar and 2 half boiled eggs. But the problem is, I can never crack them eggs. It's too hot really.

I tried a few times, but the eggs just didn't cracked large enough for me to break the shells into 2 and pour the whole content out. Most often than not, it'd just be a small little crack and I'd peel a small piece of shell off and it'd ended up just a small hole, and I'd shake the eggs vigorously on top of the small plate so that the content would come out. But having that small a hole, naturally all the egg yolk would be already broken inside the eggs or wouldn't even come out at all.

I'm okay with it really.

But the beau laughed at me all the time.

"Where got people crack half boiled eggs like that one?!"

And he'd do the other egg for me.

So nowadays, I'll just sit there and wait until he gets the signal. >.<

Order

I had a sore throat not long ago. And I was feeling feverish. But I went to the gym with the beau anyhow. We were waiting for a class to finish when I told him that I feel cold.

He looked at me one kind and said I shoulda stayed in. But my arguments was, I think it was better that I sweat it out and get well sooner.

So our conversation drifted to other topics. Dinner.

We would go for dinner after our gym. And ever since we found out this mamak place a couple of months ago, we had been going to that place a few times. So without hesitation, I said mutton soup. And the beau looked at me one kind again.

"But you have sore throat! Mutton is so heaty!"

I pouted my lips.

"Okay your call. But later don't come complaining to me."

I pouted my lips even more.

But then again, I wouldn't expect him to know what I was expecting all the time. Maybe he was being versatile and not over-dominating. Sometimes it's hard isn't it?

I was expecting him to say "NO, and I mean no."

Controlling Beau

A lot of the relationships out there, homo and hetero alike, didn't last long because one of the the 2 parties were too controlling, or in another word, dominating. Everything has to be done his/her way. While the other party might be submissive, there's only up to a certain limit that once that limit is breached, then you'll get a broken relationship.

I beg to differ.

I think in a relationship, there should be one who should call the decisions. Otherwise, if both are so ever spineless, decisions would take ages to be made. And by the time there's a final conclusion, it would be too late already.

But then again, there are some relationships that go a very long way. One party is like the decision maker, while the other just follow. It was like that, it's still like that, and it'll be forever like that. Amazingly, they lasted longer than everyone else.

And I pity the submissize party.

In my case, we're both versatiles. LOL.

Sexless sexcapade

I'm sorry to say that last weekend was a sexless trip. I guess I was troubled by something else, maybe mentally as what the beau puts it. I guessed I felt tired as well. I wasn't horny, and I wasn't in the mood for sex, even though the beau said he wanna give me a blowjob. It was 3 in the morning, and I was a bit heavy headed, so I said no, and before I know it, I was fast asleep in his arms.

It was however, a very warm trip, as in it somewhat rekindled past memories of us travelling together for the past year. Not that we are a old married couple or anything, but I guess we're long enough to be not so shy with each other anymore. The beau getting more auntier, while I get more rebellious. But time and again, I guess it's time off together like this that gets me head over heels over him like when we first started.

I was utmostly guilty that it was a sexless trip. I know I would disappoint him. But before I even flew off, I was already anticipating sex. And I guess to anticipate sex would be quite a turn off maybe?

I appologized after we got back. The beau was okay with it, although I could sense a tinge of disappointment in his tone. But I guess I was pretty tired then. What's with the new position and upgrade in the company, I've got less time to do nothing with the beau anymore.

Which left me pretty devastated. I had problems with my house rentals. And somehow I got pretty easily irritated when I wasn't in the mood. I'm pretty moody quite a lot of time too. Signs of depression?

Sad eh? Sexless sexcapade...

Passing the Certification

Remember I blogged about the proffesional exam that I was taking? Well I guess it should be a reason for me to go for a trip in celebration for passing it. *beaming*

The beau bought me a ticket to an island tomorrow evening. He has already flew over, and since I still have work to cover tomorrow, I can only leave in the evening. I was pretty reluctant in going for a trip this time round really, I don't know, but perhaps I just like to stay in bed on weekends now that I'm taking over the workloads of the supervisor. It's really wearing me out, I had to force myself to go to gym even. And with all those excuses due to work and that exam before, the beau has been complaining my waistline is growing bigger and bigger.

Won't deny that. I've been sinfully eating without gymming.

So with work finishing late and dragging myself to gym, I had only the post-gym euphoria to keep reminding me that I need to lose those fats I've gained. Otherwise, I doubt I'd even keep this membership! After all, the beau said he'd still love me no matter what. LMAO.

Gosh I'm taking things forgranted.

So with that, Clayden's flying off somewhere for the weekend. Weeee! Come to LCCT and send me off yah! LOL

Steam Room

It was actually the first time in so long that I went to gym alone this morning. The beau must've been still sleeping that when I texted, he didn't even reply. Upon calling, his sleepy voice came through.

"I'm lazy lar..." He groaned...

Alrighty. Nevermind. So I headed to the gym by own and did the usual. After a glass of drink, I headed to the steam room. It wasn't before long that an older gentleman came in. I recalled he was from the earlier class, he was standing next to me.

He took a seat opposite myself. Middle aged man, petite, but well toned. Bald. Probably some natives or something. Doesn't look like a Chinese for sure.

So I did my thing. Closing my eyes, trying to breathe through the mouth. It was hot in there. I cosed my eyes, and opened my eyes, and looked around. I looked at the ceiling, and I looked on the ground. I brushed away the sweat. And I looked at the man. Alternately.

Every other time he saw me lookng at him, he looked down, and smiled. Cheeky!!!

A while later after a few alternate glances, he finally made some more obvious hints. He played with his nipples, and slowly slided his hands down to his umbilicus and twirling with his pubes. He still shyly looked down on his hands whenever he saw me looking at him.

But not for long.

He finally locked his gaze and threw me those "I want sex" look onto me.

I was surprised really. I mean, okay I've heard people talking about quickie in the steam room or the sauna in the gym, but I seldom have those kind of luxury. Until this morning.

But when another member entered the steam room, and sat in the parallel seat, the man stood up and left. A while later I stood up and walked out of the steam room as well. I walked to the aisle as to where he was. He was in a shower cubicle, supposingly waiting for me I presumed. But as I walked further in, he turned around and smiled at me. I smiled back, and entered the opposite cubicle for my shower.

The expression on his face... Priceless.

What the fuck right?