Happy New Year 2010

Happy New Year 2010 everyone!

Kinda fast isn't it? It was just like yesterday that we got together and became a couple. But it seemed like we've been married for decades! Haha. Maybe both of us talked to much and got to know each other a lot already, but for the past few months we were together, it was really happy times. Somehow, it just happened without me even expecting. And I thought I was looking for love with other guys when my perfect man has been standing right next to me all along. :)

I have to express my gratitude here again and again. You're the best that ever happened to me this year dear. :) Well, amongst the best. Hehe. But rest assured, I love you a lot. Very very much.

Happy New Year 2010 again!

Thinking Alike

I guess it's pretty true that when you're in a relationship, you could guess what your other half thinks. Especially when he's not the spontaneous type. Not all the time.

We were at Summit one evening after gym and he was asking me where I wanted to go for dinner.

I said "Up to you."

"You decide please. You always asked me to make decisions, it's your turn this time."

"Fine. The Chinese double boiled place upstairs then."

"Eh? How did you know I wanted to go there?"

"I could see from your face."

Not. HAHAHA. >.<

Motorbike Cover

It was yet again another rainy evening when we headed to gym in the Curve. As we passed by the toll plaza, we saw so many bikes stopping at the toll plaza, causing quite a clog it seemed, although the cars were still able to move. Apparently all the motorbike riders were trying to seek cover from the rain.

"Why are they stopping by the station! So jam already still wanna stop there."

"It's raining."

"Yea, that's why it's already jammed on the road."

"They want to seek cover mar."

"That's why the toll station should built some space for these bikers to seek cover."

I looked at him. Somehow I thought he lost out and he's trying to find a sneaky way out! >.<

Sorry. Cold joke. HAHAHAHA

Splashed

It was raining one evening while we were going to the gym. We passed by TTDI and there were all those rain water accumulated by the curb. He drove slowly trying not to run over those water pots to avoid splashing those pedestrian walking to their respective cars. Traffic was slow-moving of course, considering it was raining quite heavily. But somehow, he couldn't avoid a passing lady and splashed her dress.

I looked at him astonished.

"What? She crossed the road even though she knew I was coming!"

"But you could slow down at least!"

"I was already slow wasn't I?"

"Yeah but you still splashed her!"

"She knew I was coming!"

"Fine... She must be cursing you gazillions now."

Computer Guy

I just got my laptop reformatted not long ago. HP headquarters in Damansara Height reformatted and reinstalled everything. But somehow rather than not, there were so many problems subsequently. Microsoft Office couldn't be registered. My printer software didn't work. Bluetooth service didn't function. SQL thingy interupted my installation of Photoshop. It was all a mess really. I thought I would explode, but somehow it seemed that whenever I complained to the beau I wanted to get it reformatted, he said he'd help me out. He'd spend hours on end looking for solution on the internet and help me fixed it. And so far it's working fine until again, I think I'm going to erupt because bloody Microsoft updates are taking hours to shut the laptop down.

I just wonder how long could I actually be patient with it.

And I have yet to complain to him about the shutting down process taking more than 24 hours because of the update. It stucked at "Updating 2 of 8". ARGH!

First Christmas

It's our first Christmas as a couple. But it's a pity that we didn't spend it together as I had a gathering with my family instead. He texted me throughout the day asking where I was and all. And it was a miss that when I received his last message saying he's at Starbucks in Ikano, I just left the place for dinner in Taman Megah food court.

I wonder what would my mum's reaction be like if I introduced him to her as my boyfriend. Out of the blue.

She'd get a heart attack probably.

Similar Laughs

Remember I once wrote about duplicating the beau?

Apparently, I was told just the other day that our sniggers sound similar as well. I was like, wtf?! I snigger like this all along didn't I? But my friend said, he used to be able to differentiate who was the one laughing half a year ago, but not now.

And I was wondering, can spending enough time with somebody leads to similar behavior as well? LOL

Confirm Gay

The beau and I were in Starbucks Summit one afternoon and I was getting the drink while he got the table with a couch. So when I came back with 2 cups of drinks in my hand, I took a peek at the next table. 2 young guys, from their trendy clothings, can tell they're gays. Not quite exactly gay couple, as they were looking at this design thingy on one of their's laptop, the owner commenting on the composition and colours, from what I heard. But it was just so coincidentally before I sat down that he closed that window and I saw the wallpaper of this guy.

I sat down, smiled to the beau and said "gay."

He was at that time looking at the guys as well, and he responded with a smile as well.

Not long after that, as I was sitting backing them gay guys, and the beau sitting opposite me, he held up his hand, seemingly greeting some guy behind me. I thought it'd be some passerbys he knew. But who would've guess, it was actually one of the two gay guys in the next table!

I looked at him, asking him who it was.

"Hennesy."

My eyes wide open, and I just grinned.

Hennesy is apparently one of the bodystep instructors whose class I go to. LOL

Sinfully guilty

I admit I might be a visual slut. I slut around even when I'm with the beau. And when I mean I'm a visual slut, I cruise around wherever I go! In the gym, in the mall, while dining, basically everywhere. And when I see 2 possible guys walking together, I'd say "gay couple" and he'd look at me and ask, how do you know? to which I reply, I just know. >.<

So while we were at Starbucks in Subang Jaya the other day, there was this young chap in purple tights fondling with a phone or something. His biceps are just so big I couldn't take my eyes of it. I had the thought of wanting to snap a picture of it but he didn't appear to be large enough in my camera, so I gave up.

The thing is, the beau was sitting in another table with a proper couch because well, who wouldn't want a couch right? I was sitting in those wooden chair because it's nearer to a socket. So we were seated seperately... And I was turning my head to look at big biceps guy like once in every 30 seconds.

So this guy, he's actually in his early 20s I think. Definitely a gym member, and I assume he's a student of Taylor's. Just an assumption. Fair skin, spikey hair, tight shirt, jeans, white shoes. Either he's a sportsman or he's an avid gymmer. And he's got like, amazing body!

Die la now I even blog it out here. The beau's gonna strangle me. HAHAHA.

Staying together

The last that we ever talked about staying together was... never. LOL But the closest thing that we ever talked about staying together would probably be him refurnishing his abode and I could head over anytime I wanted when his parents moved back to their old house.

I envied my friends who stay with their boyfriends. The thought of coming home and having the rest of the night together with the boyfriend seemed all too romantic for me. And I would love to lean on the beau when we're watching television or dvds on a Sunday night. You know, domestic stuff.

But then again, it dawned to me that we might as well be staying together right now even. It seemed like I'm spending more time with the beau than I have with my family! LOL. We've been going out almost everyday after I got back from work. We go to gym together, dinner after gym, or we'd go everywhere else when we're keen. And if you're asking me over the phone who am I with when I'm not at work, 80% of the time I'll answer, "the beau." LOL

Sunway Pyramid

We decided to bunk in the Starbucks in Sunway Pyramid last weekend after our gym. It was about 1pm when we arrived in the mall. Traffic was pretty heavy, but it got worse inside the parking lot.

We entered from B1, entered LG, entered B2, then followed the bloody cheating indicators to the hotel side of the parking, go to level 2, and level 3 and level 4 and finally level 5 when all the cars just got stucked up there.

The beau has gotten really hungry by then and was cursing multiple CIBAI-s, and he was whacking on his steering wheel trying so hard not to follow what the other drivers were doing honking all the way.

So after being stucked in the parking lots for almost 1 hour and 30 minutes with no parking, we finally gave up, and went for the exit. Sunway Pyramid has got the lousiest parking system amongst all the malls in KL and PJ. And we shall never ever ever everrrr go there again! Bloody hell...

Prime of his life

Was chating with a close friend the other night when the talks of relationship came into mind. He's happily married to his boyfriend for about 2 years by now while mine still maturing at 8 months. Both of them are in their 20s, him 25 and his boyfriend 27. Us on the other hand, are 13 years apart.

So our conversation drifted to the future when we were talking about 10 years from now. And then it hit me. I'd be erm, 30s and he'll be in his 40s. Somehow the figure just appeared so... old for me. LOL.

And I said something pretty selfish, that I would be in my prime in my life then, while the beau's getting older, and we're this old married couple and life's getting boring.

Then my buddy whacked me.

"He's also in the prime of his life at the moment, and he chooses to be with you. You ever thought about that?"

I'm such a selfish guy! I promise to see things from both sides from now on...

Missing you...

See, I know from 2 close friends of mine that the beau went wacky while I was away in Taipei. I didn't go online and chat on MSN with the beau in Taipei, as we had the whole day fully packed with conferences and workshops as well as visits to the required sites and the nights were usually spent strolling up the night markets. But I still kept in touch with the beau and my family members via text messages. So upon coming back from Taipei, I texted a friend regarding some issues that he brought up while I was in Taipei.

"Your beau was so lost without you..."

I couldn't quite believe him.

But later yesterday when I was chatting with another friend online, he told me the same thing.

"Your beau gone insane while you were away. He kept on asking me out. Even told me he'd willingly drive down to my place for satay. Which was total bull. CB wanna bluff on snake me."

I couldn't help but to wonder whether the beau was really somewhat like those who broke lose from an asylum.

KAWAII!

And the later friend told me that he didn't even bother to want to go out with the beau, reason being that he wanted to force the beau into missing me more.

Must've been quite a torture without the boy around eh? Love you lots dear. *kissy*

Seperated by the Sea

I remembered he told me the night before I flew to Taipei,

"If you could go online in Taipei text me ya, so that I can go online and chat with you on MSN."

Sometimes in a relationship, there are things that didn't turn out as how you expect it. He isn't exactly the horny kinda beau who wants sex 24/7 nor is he overly romantic with all those flourishy languages, but little things like what he said before I left for Taipei touched me till now.

And I heard from my friends he missed me sooo much while I was away.

*hugs and kisses* Love you too my dear.

Hardrock Fan

Woooooeeeeeeee!!!!

I'm leaving on a jet plane tomorrow. *beaming from ear to ear* Happy happy joy joy.

I didn't know what I could get for the beau. It must be something practical. All those ornaments souvenirs would be useless as they would probably be stashed away somewhere rotting and collecting dust. He has already got a fridge magnet from his sister, that's the best ornaments one could get for him.

So I just asked him straight, knowing he'd rather know what I would get for him rather than a useless surprise.

"Hardrock cafe t-shirt lah." He said.

"Another addition to my Hardrock cafe t-shirt collection. Hehe. I want the type that has the logo in front and the scenery of Taipei at the back. Not those pasar malam type okeh?"

So I was already setting aside 100 bucks for him when he came tell me he changed his mind.

"Anything will do lah. Pasar malam shirt is fine with me already."

Then I probed.

And he said, "I looked online, there's no Hardrock Cafe listed in Taipei."

Awww... shucks.

Taipei Taipei here I come! Wooooooooooeeeeeeeeee! :D

Sexless couple

I was talking to a very dear friend over MSN the other day. Having his beau away overseas, I understand what he was going through when he said he was going wacko missing his hubby. Somehow, as he was one of the first to find out about me in a relationship, he asked me how is things on my end!

"We're great. Just sexless for the past few weeks, cuz everytime there's something in the way. Either he has ulcer, or I have ulcer, or my anus tear, or he's not in the mood, or I'm too tired, or he needs to work. So in the end, we always ended cuddling each other to sleep. But it's okay, I'm enjoying the company very much. We're just an old sexless couple."

He didn't reply for a few minutes.

But the next thing came in all in CAPS.

"SO CUTE!!! KAWAIIII!!!!!!"

Minute Loss

I was at one time pretty slimmed down after those excessive time spent in the gym a few months ago. Apparently, workloads somehow tied me down and I've since cut down my time in the gym, until recently, when things started to pick up again. I'm not as free as I was back then, definitely not as fanatic, but I've at least been consistently going to the cardio classes in the gym for the past one month.

Not so much of a lean body I have, sorry to disappoint you, but I have been feeling slimmer myself. *Ahem, narcissistic me >.<*

But then again, I guessed my feelings were proven right when the beau complimented the other day.

"You look different today." He said.

"Huh? How?"

"I don't know, somehow you look slimmer..." He said, pretty suspiciously.

"No lah."

I denied, squeezing on the spare tire I still have on my waist. Bloody stubborn love handles just didn't seem to want to go away!

"No I mean it, you do look slightly slimmer." He said. "SLIGHTLY la" Emphasising on that word.

swt. Ugh. I need to stay in a gym. >.<

Brokeback Mountain

It was the first gay-themed movie that I watched before. Jake Gyllenhaal kept my eyes locked on him although Heath Ledger has got the body to die for. But I suppose I'd pick a boyfriend in Jake rather than Heath, and I'd prolly drool over Heath while I'm with Jake, since I won't actually sleep with Heath. And Jake would prolly got so fed up with me cruising Heath, and start complaining and that's when I'll stop cruising and start kissing him. >.<

To cut the crap short, we were out in the mall when I caught hold of a fine caucasian man. 6' tall, balding, sideburns, well built body with big muscular chest and big biceps. He was looking at some belts.

We walked passed him to find there was another Asian guy standing next to him, picking on them belts.

*Gaydar ringing* RRIIIIINNNGGGGGGG!!!

Inter-racial couples apparently.

Instantly, the Asian guy turned around. Fucking nice body as well! 5ft11, spikey hair, tanned, toned body, big chest but biceps not as large as the boyfriend's. Definitely hot couple.

Nope, the thought of a threesome didn't come into mind, mind you.

Both the men looked pretty straight. But what gave them away was what the Asian guy wore. A printed shirt, not sure where he got it from, prolly Bangkok.

It read "I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU"

How so ever familiar right? >.<

Now I wonder should I also wear something like that sometimes. LMAO.

Decent Apparel

See, I'm not actually the type who will dress up excessively when I go out, not even when I go to a formal dinner (although sometimes I do wear my Samfu to a dinner). So usually, I'm always seen in my shorts and a normal round neck or a polo-neck t-shirt. And of course, I would be in my sandals or slippers.

Today, I decided to wear my boots that I bought the other day at the Isetan Members' day sale. And to wear that boot with shorts would be so awefully weird. So I decided to go long-legged jeans, as compared to the short-legged jeans that the beau usually would wear.

Therfore, when we went out for dinner, I walked towards him and he looked at me one kind.

"Why you wear so nice today?"

"Is it?"

"You're usually like those Ah Pek one in flip flops one ma."

I looked at him. And I looked at my boots.

"Oooooh! No wonder la...."

Somehow, I'm starting to like this boots already! >.<

Fat Arse

The beau told me of the Isetan Members' Day last week, and we decided to head over to the store after our abs crunching gym classes. Upon arriving, we headed straight to the formal wear sections.

The beau was in need of a tie badly, while I was actually there cruising. For clothes I mean.

I have a full wardrobe of G2000 apparels. Not that I like it, but they made me look slimmer. >.< So, naturally, I would be in that section and rummaged through all those shirts. The shirts looked fine to me, but I was actually looking at the pants, since the pants were on 50% sale as well! See, very rarely we get G2000 pants on sale, but that day all those pants were!

But then...

"There's no size..."

I sighed.

"What's your size?"

He asked so loud some more.

I purposely walked away when there was this autie who was looking through the pants looked up at us. I mean, hello! It's a secret! Even if it's not to the beau, I'd prefer not to announce it in public.

"They're all 28 or 38 and nothing in between."

"What's your size la?" he asked again.

I looked at him, and pursed my lips, giving him a telekinetic message, "Can you stop asking already?!"

"They just wanna clear off the pants for the giants and the matchsticks, nothing for nice arses like mine."

The auntie looked up again.

And I just walked away.

Travelling together

I guess the beau has addiction in traveling with me. Of course I do too. >.<

See, the tickets to Taipei was actually solved because the beau helped me to book online. I don't have a credit card you see, call me whatever you want, but I think credit card is EVIL. LOL. But now that I've got a problem in booking air ticket online, I guess there's some usefulness of them. Therefore, all this while, I've always been purchasing my tickets by cash, or my dad get 'em for me should we be going somewhere for holidays or what nots.

But the trick with buying ticket online to Taiwan, they need verification of the card holder. swt. I can't possible get my dad to purchase for me, since he's not around until Christmas. So... the next person I turned to was of course, none other than the perfect beau.

After the transaction was done, he finally told me about the temptation.

"I was so tempted in purchasing 2 tickets lor."

I only managed to smile in front of my computer screen.

I wished it was for 2 too.

Love you dear...

Moody Week

I have no idea why I've been so moody the past week.

I didn't think it was the workload. I've moved to a new office alright, my colleagues are nice people. My boss may be intimidating at times, but I guess I still can handle them. There's nothing wrong with my family, other than me causing the tension with my mum, probably due to my own moodiness. The beau kept on asking me what was the problem, and I couldn't find any, which pretty much leads to me being grumpy easily whenever we weren't on agreeable terms.

But I know I shouldn't be. And I know I should have talk it out instead. I guess being a Tauran, I do have my own stubborn traits. I pretty much sulk on everything that the beau said regarding how I should sort some stuff, i.e. the upcoming business trip. There's a business trip to Taipei next month, but the company decided to let me book my own tickets. Like, WTF right?

And to top it all, because I actually volunteered to go along with the main negotiator, since no one else wanted to go, the company said I wouldn't be compensated on my expenses. Like WTF! So my colleague decided to share out her sponsorship since I would be her company in Taiwan. And since I wasn't sponsored, and the travel period is already so soon, I guess I got cranky. I've practically check up on all the flights that fly from Kuala Lumpur to Taipei, from Air Asia to MAS, and SIA, Thai Airways, Tiger Airways, EVA Airlines, China Airlines, Korean Air, KLM... you name it, I thought about it.

But thanks to the beau, it's all sorted out. *love you dear* So I'll be flying again on the first week of December. Yeeeeeha!

Cruise

Now talking about cruising instead of being cruised...

Just the other day, the beau and I were at some shopping mall and we walked side by side passing through some shop. We both looked into the shops as there was some sales going on. And coincidently there was a shop assistant standing near the entrance folding some clothes. Who would know, the shop assistant looked up and saw us.

He was young, chinese lad, spikey hair, fair, pretty toned from all the veins in his forearms. Good looking. But not attractive enough to give me a hardon.

We turned away and continued walking.

Just 2 steps away, I turned to look at him again. He was back to his business. But one second later, he looked up again. And he locked his gaze at my stare.

*scandalous*

Nope I don't know him, cross my heart.

Later on when I told the beau that the shop assistant was looked back again, he was quite insistant that the shop assistant was cruising him.

Of course I was being defensive. The shop assistant is a young lad, if he's gay he'd probably looking for younger guys too. Plus, with my boyish face, how could one mistaken who's the older one of us two? (No offense dear, :P)

And then he replied, "Maybe he's into older men."

Well... I couldn't counter that. Speaking from experience. HAHA >.<

Cruised

The beau sometimes would come and tell me after gym that there was a certain guy who hogged the machine just opposite his, and would follow him around whenever he moved to the next machine. Most of the time he'd point out whichever guy that he noticed following him around.

I'd take a look at the guy and said, "Not hot."

But sometimes, I guess some of them gymmers do look pretty delicious. But I know our boundaries. And cruising means, cruising, and it shall stop at that. Even though the beau isn't really physically my type, but he's 80% satisfactory. But I won't complain much. I love him as how and who he is.

Just that sometimes, I'm really curious. The beau isn't someone you'd pick up as a gay guy. He's just too straight to be one. You could hardly tell in fact. And even if you could, that moment would probably be when I'm around him. Not to say that I'm an obvious typical gay guy, but I guess I'm more easily picked up in a gaydar as compared to him. I think.

So sometimes, actually most of the times, I'd definitely look at the guy who cruised him. Those guys aren't obviously gays, but the tendencies of them being one, are pretty high.

I personally never experienced that. I mean being cruised while I was working out. Maybe because I'm not as hunky as the beau. Bleh~

But it's great to see the reaction of them cruisers' faces when they see the both of us together later on. LOL.

Time Together

People say, you won't appreciate the things you have until you lose it.

Sometimes I felt as if I'm taking the beau forgranted as well. (Sorry dear, if you're reading this.) But let me explain. It's just that sometimes, I guess I get to dependant on the beau and I think he'll get the things done for me and save me some work. I know it's bad. I know it's really really bad. But I do not ever mean to have him do all my stuff. Just that, I guess I do love him when he helps me out.

And I really do mean I'm so totally head over heels with him when he helps me out.

So there was once when the beau was asking me about my idea of him switching to a job which requires him to travel away from the city.

2 months ago, I went all sulky and unhappy because I won't be seeing him almost everyday like well, since before we embarked officially on a relationship. You know, it'll be kinda difficult to adapt right?

But now, I guess I can't really expect him to be there for me all the time when I myself am not sure what my schedule will be like next year, considering I'm already in the ladder climbing up to a higher post in my company *woot!* which means, I myself might have to work overtime once a while.

So it's definitely not fair to him.

Therefore, nowadays, I showed my support saying it'll be great. Perhaps I might get the chance to tag along when he flies elsewhere for work too. But deep down, I'm not sure if he knows or not (which he'll probably know after this), I know I'll feel terribly sad when he's away for work.

I think I might need time to get use to him being away once a while. But I definitely know I'll have a hard time adjusting.

Because I love him more and more everyday...

Getting Serious

Sometimes the beau and I, we don't get so serious in our conversation. He'd tease me and tease me even more that at some point I would get really annoyed and frustrated.

So there was this once when he was driving and I was suggesting of some stuff, to which he shot down immediately, like spontaneously. And I got angry. Not really angry per se, but sorta unhappy. So I just kept quiet throughout. I didn't really showed that I was not happy, but I just kept quiet. The next thing he spoke, I just nodded or gave monotonous reply.

And then he asked the same questions that he would most of the time when I'm not in my chatty mood. "Why so emo one?"

I replied, "No lah."

And we were back to where we were. But that didn't mean I was okay already. We talked like usual, until he said something that I couldn't accept, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

That night, I told him about some disagreement. He always like me to be frank with him, so I did. I said sometimes I'm not happy at the way he acted. And he said he was sorry for that, assuming I kept quiet because of the things that he said later.

And I said, "Nolah, I merajuk ma."

He was like, "Oh, really? I didn't know you merajuk one?"

And I was like, "I'm still a human being lah. I get small-hearted also one sometimes."

And so he went, "Aiyo... sorry lor... Ok next time I won't tease you anymore..."

And I was like, "Okay lah."

Won't say too much or else he got all confused again.

Breaking the Eggs

Half boiled eggs mind you.

I have a problem with cracking them half boiled eggs whenever I'm at this kopitiam. The beau and I would usually get ourselves some teh tarik with roti bakar and 2 half boiled eggs. But the problem is, I can never crack them eggs. It's too hot really.

I tried a few times, but the eggs just didn't cracked large enough for me to break the shells into 2 and pour the whole content out. Most often than not, it'd just be a small little crack and I'd peel a small piece of shell off and it'd ended up just a small hole, and I'd shake the eggs vigorously on top of the small plate so that the content would come out. But having that small a hole, naturally all the egg yolk would be already broken inside the eggs or wouldn't even come out at all.

I'm okay with it really.

But the beau laughed at me all the time.

"Where got people crack half boiled eggs like that one?!"

And he'd do the other egg for me.

So nowadays, I'll just sit there and wait until he gets the signal. >.<

Order

I had a sore throat not long ago. And I was feeling feverish. But I went to the gym with the beau anyhow. We were waiting for a class to finish when I told him that I feel cold.

He looked at me one kind and said I shoulda stayed in. But my arguments was, I think it was better that I sweat it out and get well sooner.

So our conversation drifted to other topics. Dinner.

We would go for dinner after our gym. And ever since we found out this mamak place a couple of months ago, we had been going to that place a few times. So without hesitation, I said mutton soup. And the beau looked at me one kind again.

"But you have sore throat! Mutton is so heaty!"

I pouted my lips.

"Okay your call. But later don't come complaining to me."

I pouted my lips even more.

But then again, I wouldn't expect him to know what I was expecting all the time. Maybe he was being versatile and not over-dominating. Sometimes it's hard isn't it?

I was expecting him to say "NO, and I mean no."

Controlling Beau

A lot of the relationships out there, homo and hetero alike, didn't last long because one of the the 2 parties were too controlling, or in another word, dominating. Everything has to be done his/her way. While the other party might be submissive, there's only up to a certain limit that once that limit is breached, then you'll get a broken relationship.

I beg to differ.

I think in a relationship, there should be one who should call the decisions. Otherwise, if both are so ever spineless, decisions would take ages to be made. And by the time there's a final conclusion, it would be too late already.

But then again, there are some relationships that go a very long way. One party is like the decision maker, while the other just follow. It was like that, it's still like that, and it'll be forever like that. Amazingly, they lasted longer than everyone else.

And I pity the submissize party.

In my case, we're both versatiles. LOL.

Sexless sexcapade

I'm sorry to say that last weekend was a sexless trip. I guess I was troubled by something else, maybe mentally as what the beau puts it. I guessed I felt tired as well. I wasn't horny, and I wasn't in the mood for sex, even though the beau said he wanna give me a blowjob. It was 3 in the morning, and I was a bit heavy headed, so I said no, and before I know it, I was fast asleep in his arms.

It was however, a very warm trip, as in it somewhat rekindled past memories of us travelling together for the past year. Not that we are a old married couple or anything, but I guess we're long enough to be not so shy with each other anymore. The beau getting more auntier, while I get more rebellious. But time and again, I guess it's time off together like this that gets me head over heels over him like when we first started.

I was utmostly guilty that it was a sexless trip. I know I would disappoint him. But before I even flew off, I was already anticipating sex. And I guess to anticipate sex would be quite a turn off maybe?

I appologized after we got back. The beau was okay with it, although I could sense a tinge of disappointment in his tone. But I guess I was pretty tired then. What's with the new position and upgrade in the company, I've got less time to do nothing with the beau anymore.

Which left me pretty devastated. I had problems with my house rentals. And somehow I got pretty easily irritated when I wasn't in the mood. I'm pretty moody quite a lot of time too. Signs of depression?

Sad eh? Sexless sexcapade...

Passing the Certification

Remember I blogged about the proffesional exam that I was taking? Well I guess it should be a reason for me to go for a trip in celebration for passing it. *beaming*

The beau bought me a ticket to an island tomorrow evening. He has already flew over, and since I still have work to cover tomorrow, I can only leave in the evening. I was pretty reluctant in going for a trip this time round really, I don't know, but perhaps I just like to stay in bed on weekends now that I'm taking over the workloads of the supervisor. It's really wearing me out, I had to force myself to go to gym even. And with all those excuses due to work and that exam before, the beau has been complaining my waistline is growing bigger and bigger.

Won't deny that. I've been sinfully eating without gymming.

So with work finishing late and dragging myself to gym, I had only the post-gym euphoria to keep reminding me that I need to lose those fats I've gained. Otherwise, I doubt I'd even keep this membership! After all, the beau said he'd still love me no matter what. LMAO.

Gosh I'm taking things forgranted.

So with that, Clayden's flying off somewhere for the weekend. Weeee! Come to LCCT and send me off yah! LOL

Steam Room

It was actually the first time in so long that I went to gym alone this morning. The beau must've been still sleeping that when I texted, he didn't even reply. Upon calling, his sleepy voice came through.

"I'm lazy lar..." He groaned...

Alrighty. Nevermind. So I headed to the gym by own and did the usual. After a glass of drink, I headed to the steam room. It wasn't before long that an older gentleman came in. I recalled he was from the earlier class, he was standing next to me.

He took a seat opposite myself. Middle aged man, petite, but well toned. Bald. Probably some natives or something. Doesn't look like a Chinese for sure.

So I did my thing. Closing my eyes, trying to breathe through the mouth. It was hot in there. I cosed my eyes, and opened my eyes, and looked around. I looked at the ceiling, and I looked on the ground. I brushed away the sweat. And I looked at the man. Alternately.

Every other time he saw me lookng at him, he looked down, and smiled. Cheeky!!!

A while later after a few alternate glances, he finally made some more obvious hints. He played with his nipples, and slowly slided his hands down to his umbilicus and twirling with his pubes. He still shyly looked down on his hands whenever he saw me looking at him.

But not for long.

He finally locked his gaze and threw me those "I want sex" look onto me.

I was surprised really. I mean, okay I've heard people talking about quickie in the steam room or the sauna in the gym, but I seldom have those kind of luxury. Until this morning.

But when another member entered the steam room, and sat in the parallel seat, the man stood up and left. A while later I stood up and walked out of the steam room as well. I walked to the aisle as to where he was. He was in a shower cubicle, supposingly waiting for me I presumed. But as I walked further in, he turned around and smiled at me. I smiled back, and entered the opposite cubicle for my shower.

The expression on his face... Priceless.

What the fuck right?

Part 3: The Rimming

While Mr. Bangsar was trying to hold his heavy body on all his limbs to prevent himself from crushing the later, he was planting a deep french kiss into Behrman's mouth, playing around with the tongue and proding around in the mouth cavity.

Behrman felt the erection that Mr. Bangsar had, but he wasn't able to see how big it is. It was definitely huge, a comfortable size so he thought, until the bear lift himself up and supported himself on his knees, finally revealing his erection.

Behrman let out a gasp. He couldn't lift his eyes from that massive sexual organ attached to this bear. It was humungous. Very thick, at least twice the girth of his own. He was bedazzled and was stunned, frozen in time not knowing what to do next.

Mr. Bangsar just stroke it a bit and asked, "Like what you're seeing?"

"It's... it's... biggg.."

"Yeaps. But don't worry, you will be well prepped."

Without much warning, Mr. Bangsar just grasped Behrman's ankle and lifted his legs up in a swift movement, and before he could do any preparation, the next thing he saw was the bear's head burried deep in between his groin. Somehow there was this feeling of something wet and soft but firm licking his anus. And slowly proding into the anal canal as well. Behrman was in ecstacy, he arching his back and tried to pulled his ass away from that stimulation, but the strong grasp on his ankle just somehow gotten stronger.

Mr. Bangsar gave a final lick from the anus up to the perineum and finally the bottom of his scrotum, slowly teasing the balls with the tip of his tongue. Behrman's eyes were rolled up enjoying all those attention his groin region were getting, and was literally lyind motionless on the bed.

The rimming must've took quite some time that he didn't even remember time anymore. His external sphincter was squeezing and relaxing in an alternating matter, trying to forbid that skillful tongue from proding any further, yet he had to release a little and enjoy the euphoria he got once his anus was stimulated.

"How do like my rimming?" The bear finally gotten up after torturing the virgin boy for a while.

"My God, that's... Oh... gosh..."

"Speechless eh? I'm pretty expert in my tongue you know."

And before he could take another breather, he felt the little thing licking around the perineum and going down to the hole once more...

Part 2: The Bear

Ever since he gotten to know Mr. Bangsar, Behrman has been keen to meet up with him. So when he got his phone number, he texted the man 2 days later. It was a Friday night, and Behrman has nothing to do.

"Hi there. It's Behrman here. What's up?"

2 minutes later, Mr. Bangsar replied, "Nothing much. Just watching porn."

Interesting guy, Behrman thought. And he replied. "Would be cool to watch with you. I never watched one."

Corny? Or just plain horny?

It wasn't before long that Behrman was on the train to meet this man. When he got off the train station, he tried to find his way according to the direction given to him. But he found himself lost in some commercial park. So upon numerous calls, he finally got back to the point where he started, just outside the train station. It was 8p.m. then.

He waited patiently by the main road. It was a pretty busy night. The road was never once clear. It wasn't before long when Mr. Bangsar arrived, with a fed up look. Behrman must've pissed him off with his stupidity in following instructions. But it wasn't really on that much of a bright side for Behrman either.

He thought to himself, "Gosh! He's... FAT!!!" Behrman wanted to turn around and leave the place but it was too late as he just answered Mr. Bangsar's call.

They walked along the road, back to Mr. Bangsar's place. Apparently, the later just moved back from Australia less than half a year ago, therefore he wasn't keen in driving just yet. Upon reaching Mr. Bangsar's rented room, he was led to the edge of the bed, and before him, first time in his life, he saw a man on man action. On the television.

Mr. Bangsar came out from the shower a while later and got onto the bed. They were both fully clothed still. But the more Behrman watched the gay porn, the hornier he got. His cock grew slowly. He just had to lower himself down from the edge of the bed onto the floor, adjusting his underwear to reposition his growing little thing between his groin.

Eventually, Mr. Bangsar broke the silence.

"Why are you on the floor? Come on, onto the bed. Now."

Behrman turned around, and saw the hard-on underneath Mr. Bangsar's shorts as well.

"Erm... you know I'm still pretty... erm.."

"Just relax. Come on." Mr. Bangsar indicated the space to his right.

So Behrman climbed over and lied there, palpitating while Mr. Bangsar's pillowing right hand played with his ears. Ticklish! Behrman turned his head, in an attempt to move his ear away from the fingers. But he was just inches away from Mr. Bangsar's face, and Mr. Bangsar was looking at him.

After a few seconds of freeze, Mr. Bangsar repositioned himself and groped the erection Behrman was trying to hide earlier.

"What's the worse that could happen? There's nothing to be ashamed of." He laughed. "Now, let's take that off shall we?"

Pretty unromantic. But Behrman just followed his commands and got stark naked on the bed while the host got off to dim the lights. Behrman fixed his eyes onto Mr. Bangsar as he slowly lifted his clothes. Hairy chest. Big belly, but not really the beer belly. Muscular arms. And while he lower down his shorts, Behrman realized the boner was gone. The shorts gone off to reveal what seemed to be a very very big cock. Even while it's unerected.

The bear walked over to the side of the bed and got onto the bed, pulling Behrman close to his side, and planted his mouth onto Behrman's shocked face while his hands were touching Behrman all over the body. Their lips met, but as the bear opens his slowly, Behrman followed suit. Behrman was trying to learn how to kiss as a matter of factly when he felt the bear's tongue inside his mouth. He was licking his teeth and protruding his tongue into the mouth cavity, playing around with Behrman's tongue.

"Hmm... you're pretty good in kissing." Mr. Bangsar pulled away after about 5 minutes of French kissing. "Wonder where you learnt that."

Mr. Bangsar repositioned both of them, and asked the boy to lie in the middle of the king sized bed, while the bear was on top of him. There were a little bit more of kissing before the he moved down from his mouth. He twirled around the nipple, with the tip of the tongue, alternating with some sucking and licking around the aereola. After quite some time of servicing both side of the nipple, he slowly moved south.

Using the tip of his tongue, he did what he had done earlier to the nipple. He teased around the cockhead and licked around the shaft of the cock. He moved further down to the balls and sucked at it vigorously. But he just refused to suck on the proding cock just yet. He gave a final lick at the bottom part of the shaft of the cock before he move up and attacked Behrman's nipples again.

This time round, Behrman felt something hard proding him between his groin. Mr. Bangsar was having an erection.

"Like that?"

Chapter 1: How it all started

Behrman cautiously logged onto Gay.com using the computer in the lab. It was midday one Tuesday and the next class only started in one hours time. He logged into his account and looked around, making sure no one came in through the door. Not that he has to be extremely cautious about it, but sometimes his classmates would barge into the lab while waiting for the next class. After all, it's fully air-conditioned.

As the website slowly loaded and images of men appear, he resized the window into half its size, just in case. He moved his cursor towards the blinking words of "inbox", expecting a reply from one of his contacts a few days earlier who he wrote to.

Living away from home, he has all the freedom he had wanted. But he was still all too new in this alternative lifestyle to which he knew his parents would strongly be against with. Life as a homosexual back in the early 90s, is still pretty much like those of the rats in Ratatouille, most would probably look at you one kind, while the radicals might have some Samurai sword with them, preparing to slash you in the throat and let all those fresh blood gush out from the external jugular vein.

He was just in his second year away from the comfort of home. Isn't it too long for nothing to happen?

"Hey there. I live in Bangsar. Renting here, but have my own room. Town house, just opposite the shopping village. What about you?"

Behrman looked at the profile again. The fourth time he was going through the details. 5ft10, 210lbs, stocky muscular, single, looking for sexdate, friends, relationship. And the picture of a smiling bald man appear, with numerous others smaller pictures of himself lined up at the bottom of the main display picture.

"Hi there. Glad to see your reply again. Staying with friends here, near the campus in PJ. Hey, why don't we keep in touch via phone? It's a bit troublesome for me to get online as I don't have my own connection. Am online in the school computer lab. Text me, 012-xxxxxxx. Hear from you soon."

He knew he needed to get it going somehow. He was keen in meeting, but nothing seemed to happen thus far. And this man he was corresponding with, attracted him in so many ways. Not entirely his look, after all he's in his early 40s. But somehow there was this aura with him that attracted Behrman.

When it was all done, he quickly logged out from the porn site and logged in into Friendster instead.

Scar

It was a bad week perhaps. What's with all the stress and preparation for the final proffesional course exam next week. And me just back from Manila and the beau in Tokyo. Luckily, with the advancement of technology nowadays, we were able to keep in touch via text messages.

Somehow, things between us got a huge shock after what I thought was a little bit dull lately. Not sure why. But it seemed that I was getting less interested in replying the beau's message the more that we were together. I'm falling out of love? I'm taking things forgranted? I've been too comfortable because the beau loves me so much?

One night, while we were online, I asked him one question that would probably risk our future together. All those dreams of buying a place and settle in together, traveling and doing things together, they all seemed like a gamble at stake when I asked him that question.

It was a very intense atmosphere, I could definitely feel it even though we were seperated by miles of sea. But despite trying to ask his opinion to test out what his views on what I wanted, he finally sensed something was up.

"Tell me, honestly, what has been happening?"

I was scared. He didn't quite approve from the way he answerd my beating-around-the-bush questions earlier, after all we are in a monogamous relationship. And those vows that I made to myself where I'll love him and only him and I'll only fuck with him and only him, it seemed like I'm the one causing all this beautiful tale to crumble. I was restless. I didn't want to answer, but he was suspecting, and he was waiting for me to answer.

"I might've been sending text messages to some of my old fucks and ask them how they're doing and stuff."

At that instant, I knew he would've probably ripped his heart open and stabbed it repeatedly and let those blood oozes out and stained all those bedsheets. And I have NO IDEA what gotten into me that night.

Perhaps I was blinded by the memory of this superb sex session with this one guy who I met quite often before I settle down with the beau. Superb-sex-session guy texted me one day asking how come I haven't been looking for him anymore. And I replied I was busy. I didn't even know why I didn't mention I am already taken. And for the next few days, we exchanged some more text messages, with him pleading to get something arranged soon...

Perhaps that was why I lost my control over my lust.

"I was just wondering if it is okay for you if I have sex with other men?"

Looking back at what I asked, I was surprised, very very surprised I even had that thought.

And I only have myself to blame for this scar caused.

Aery Stomach

I've since last week been having this stomach full of air. So of course, there was this bloatedness that I'd kill to be relieved. My tummy grows bigger as I watched the air inside increasing, and yes, it was so hollow that when you hit it, it's making a noise like that of the drums.

I would most logically assume it's from the food I took in Manila. But I certainly hope it would be gone before the major presentation week in 2 weeks time where we'll get observers from all over the world coming in to see me stammering on stage. Damn. Thinking about it makes my legs weak.

The diarrhoea started on the 2nd day of my air-filled tummy. All water. I was basically peeing through my anus. Not quite pleasant to the ear when I was in the toilet, especially since this shit-peeing is accompanied by some pleasant machine-gun- like farts.

So when I look into the toilet bowl again after I've done my business, you'd expect there to be lotsa bubbles. It was brownish in colour. No solid stuff at all. And sourish smell. Very appetizing indeed. Only that since I had this stomach discomfort from all the air-filling, I just lost all those appetite...

Cleaning my anus changed from using toilet paper to water spray. I had to stop torturing my anus with my rough un-gentle strokes from the fingers or I'd literally bleed down there. And so... I used the water spray instead. But then again, there were occasions where the amount of water used to clean the arse diluted the brownish "stool" down in the toilet bowl and yeah, you can see the leaves from the dinner earlier.

So yeah, my stomach and my anus had been tormenting my timid soul for the past one week now that neither charcoal nor Loperamide pills are helping... I pray I pray I pray it's really just food poisoning and I'll be good soon... Because I've been missing sex for the longest time ever. LOL

And I pray I pray I pray it's not HIV. This medical dude's such an addictive bastard!

2nd Chance!

The beau is going to send me off to the airport tomorrow. He's going to carry my luggage for me. And wait for me to check in at the counter. And sit with me at Starbucks until my boarding time is 15 minutes to closing. Then we'll hug each other in front of the customs guards at the departure hall. And I'll wave him goodbye after the immigration clearance. And I'll walk to my plane. Behind my boss.

I'm off to Manila this time. 2 weeks.

And he'll get my text message when I arrive at the airport. When I checked into the hotel. When I shower. When I jerk off thinking of him before I go to sleep that night. And he'll send me a text message the next morning, "Good luck my dear. I'm sure you'll nail it this time."

Big Beau

People say it's not a good for a relationship if discussions on the past relationships were being carried out on. Not that I have any serious relationships, maybe a couple of flings. But the beau told me about his past relationships, but that's about it all, nothing more.

One night, he leaned across the bed and asked me about my past fling.

"So tell me... how did your ex-sexmate started their foreplay?"

"Huh? Why are you asking that?"

"It's the past dear, tell me, I just wanna know. I promised I won't be jealous."

"Okay... usual way. Kissing, then the ear and neck vampire sucking blood whatever shits, then the nipples and tummy and well like what you would do... though I did experience getting rimmed and fingered before."

"Whoa... so you got rimmed..."

"My first sex was with this guy who came back from overseas. I was 20. He rimmed me. And he fingered me. Then he ended it with him rubbing his cock in between my thighs."

"Did he fuck you?"

"Nope. I was never fucked before. But even if I was a bottom guy all along, I don't think his cock would be a wise first cock to have. It's humungous I tell you."

"Really?"

And I rolled my palms into a tunnel, then slightly widened it a little. "It wasn't long, but it was..."

"THAT THICK?! My goodness, thank God you didn't let him ripped your ass off... Or else I wouldn't be your biggest cock so far."

Ugh... indeed. You can only imagine. And no, I'm not a bottom.

Oh My God Hottie!

Admittedly I would go gaga all over a man who's over 6 ft tall, broad shoulder with big chest and big arms and solid tummy, not necessarily 6-packed although it would be a bonus.

When I opened my mail this morning, this guy popped up.

Owh.

My.

Gaaaaaawwwdddd......

I drool like a silly little bottom boy waiting to be picked up and banged on the wall and got my brains fucked out. Like hello, is there anything else you can describe that picture?

But I know shit about this guy, honestly. Only by chance I came across this website to some clubs and subscription to God knows what sort of e-mails, and upon further clicking, I came to learn he's a DJ. Big Kid. Hailed from Singapore apparently.

10 minutes later, he's just another hot guy. Lust perhaps. But nothing more than that.

Because I know back home I've got another hot guy whom I call mine, whom I know, whom I could touch, and kiss, and have intimate love-making with. Lust? Definitely. But this lust have got something more too... Something more to life. Something more to passion. Something more to something we call ourselves.

CB Driver

One thing Clayden learns about the beau, he is ever so patient except for the times when he drives. Thou shall not drive recklessly and all the laws of traffic must be obeyed, otherwise there'd be lotsa cursings from the beau.

He had been showing how unsatisfied he is with drivers in KL, who cuts into your lane without signal, who drive up so close by your side just inches before both car scratches, who doesn't slow down to let you pass, or purposely speed up when they see you wanted to cross the exit. You know, stuff like that...

So one day while we were on the road, the beau started to curse at the slow-moving traffic again. Like that's not enough, you get numerous cars who didn't keep to their lane or gone into the wrong lane and cut in in front of you even though it's a double-lines divider. Out of spontaneouity, I blurted "Cibai car!"

I mean, well, I was shocked because this overly-made-up ugly doll in a Kenari cut in from the left and nearly cause the beau's car his front lamp should he failed to do an emergency brake. Like that's not enough, the driver at the back honked because we stopped suddenly. Luckily no accident occured.

The beau was shocked. I never cursed.

I looked at him and said, "What? That cibai driver don't even know how to drive properly and could nearly cause some accident!" He couldn't agree more.

Throughout the journey inching towards The Curve, there were so many cibai drivers on the road. Cibai kia. Cibai aunty. Cibai uncle. Cibai Ah Beng. Cibai Ah Lian. So much so that if our mouth were to be foul smelling from those foul words, mine would be enough to cause all the customers in the entire mall to faint.

So, the next day while I drove towards Tropicana City Mall, I had to cut through some of the traffic to avoid this cibai bus who stopped at the bus stop and didn't even buldge. I was so near to the divider of the entrance to the mall when I suddenly swerved in, WITH a signal on, and safely enter the junction into the mall carpark.

The beau looked at me, "You... how could you only come in when you're so near already?"

"It wasn't double-line. There was no car at the back. I put on my signal."

"But still, we're already so near to the junction."

"I know I know... fine I'm also one of the cibai driver lah."

The beau just giggled away.

Bald Beau

Being young and pretty, I have so many hairs that sometimes I find it very annoying. Especially when it gets longer. I mean on my head in this case.

My gene doesn't give me some straight smooth sissy hairs like some of those self-proclaimed leng-zhai. But rather, I get this stupid blardy lousy wavy hairs that curls up when I forgot to go to the barber after a month.

So the other day when we were out at his personal barber, I asked him whether or not he'd dare to go bald.

"Like bald shiny bald?" He asked.

"Yeaps. Don't you think it's macho and manly and... grrr..." I controlled my actions, so no, I didn't have any actions of a clawed hand and grimaced face baring those teeth as if I was some horny whore wanting those biker daddies to fuck my pussy.

See, sometimes I find it quite a turn on really. I mean, it has to come from someone who has the aura of a man definitely. Give me a bald queen who squeels in high pitched soprano voice, I'd trade that for the Miss Universe, as in a true lady with titties and pussies. And when I mean the aura of a man, this shallow peanut-sized brain of mine would've clearly screamed out that I mean it's like those muscular bikers in the desert in Arizona or Texas.

Perhaps I've watched too much of Matthew Rush. Or there was this guy who goes by the nick name of Gauge. Big buldging muscles with 8' tool. Ripped my asscrack when they're the top for sure. I mean, oh well, if they were ever going to be out of all the odd chances my boyfriend, there'd be no chance of me to have my tool in some warm holes unless we get another pig bottom in for 3some.

Blissful fantasy! Gave me multiple orgasm alright.

But then again, considering I've already find my lovely beau, even my first fuck who was bald with a beefy body and a curved-up beer-can-thick 6' tool didn't entice me anymore. And with that lust aside, I find I love my beau more and more.

So, back to the story. The beau didn't answer. His hair was somewhat thinning, and I definitely gotta learn to be more sensitive.

But here's to you my dear, if you're reading this, I love you no matter what. Even though you're not those big rough macho bald daddies from Texas with 8' cock, I'm so ever satisfied and happy that you're mine and I'm yours.

Love you gazillions. *smooches*

Barrista Beau

The beau is a fan of Starbucks. He had his shot of Statbucks coffee every other days and he'd spend the weekend afternoon or evening online at Starbucks if not at the gym. Seldom would you find us dancing away in Marketplace or Frangipani though I very much would love to go sometimes.

So there was this other day when we were talking about switching jobs. I mean, well things aren't really going that all well for us now other than our relationships. I was pretty depressed with work still, and he's getting bored at what he's doing now too.

I told him I would love to do something that wouldn't require me to think so much, maybe waiter or air hostess or massage boy or I don't know, maybe travel guide?

But I must've triggered some annoying button when he snapped at me, "Why not those toll boy at the toll plaza? Everyday you just need to sit there and collect money."

As easy as it sound, I still want to do something more... erm, classy perhaps?

Okay, call me vain. I'm a vain queer.

Considering the path I'm taking now would probably land me on some realllllllyyyy green posture once I got promoted (like how everyone would do subsequently), I have this habit of differentiating a proffesional job and a not-so proffesionaly job. So when the thoughts of switching job comes in mind where I'd really love to quit white-collar career, I crushed my brain juice to think of something that still allows me to wear nice clothes and work in an air-conditioned place. I know I know, it's shallow of me to think like that. But lazy arses like myself, there's always day-dreaming where I wished to work easy and live my life easy.

Rather than the highly-stressed office that I have to go to everyday now, I fantasized of something more relaxing. That was when I saw the cute barrista at the counter and "What about barrista?" was blurted out spontaneously.

The beau looked at me in disbelieve and gave me a long lecture of how long and how hard I've strived before to get to where I am now and that I shouldn't even think about giving up and what nots shits. Yet, he turned the table around and told me, maybe I should apply to be one. "Yeah! I shall send in my application tomorrow."

To my horror!

Now back to the vain part. I dreamt of becoming a successful working queer and I of course hope that whoever my boyfriend is would be too. And in this case, the beau has some qualification that landed him some career with comfortable income as well. So when his thoughts started to drift towards the laziness of mine (speaking about duplicating the beau), he's gotten all this thoughts of wanting to do some easy job that doesn't require much innovation too!

I straight away snapped at him, "You're overqualified."

"Not if I'm a manager."

"But you don't have the money to start your own branch."

"You could always chip in."

And that was when our frequency of thoughts somehow falls into the same level!

"Our own Starbucks!" I smiled widely.

But he slapped me, literally. "Stop dreaming boy. Work on your coming exam and make sure you pass that one so that I could take you to some secluded paradise for all-day-long fucking."

Boo-hoo!

Don't Cheat, Clayden

The beau is a gym bunny. Although his gym schedule sort of went haywired for the past half a year because of me. Maybe. I don't know. But it seemed as if there's more of "Nevermind, we'll go tomorrow" nowadays compared to the past, where he'd still be at the gym despite me not going.

I mean, okay, having been in a relationship somehow just makes you want to be with your other half most of the time. I admit I'm pretty much addicted to wanting to be with the beau all the time. But there is just one class that he would seldom miss, whether or not I'm going.

Anyway. He has this favourite bodybalance class where he seldom miss, and considering he's been a follower for more than a year by now, he's pretty close with the instructor.

So... there was this day when we went to the class as usual.

To my shocking, the pilate instructor started calling my name!

"Don't cheat, Clayden, now that I know your name, I'm going to check on you."

And before long, the instructor would come over to check on my posture again.

"Extend the hips, more, more, more, yess.... that's it!"

And just as I was trying to take a rest from back pain, instructor was coming over again.

"Clayden, do more. Again."

So throughout the class, there were Clayden this Clayden that. There was so much Clayden that the instructor started calling this other member in the class Clayden as well, and kept on Clayden-ing for a while before she realized she was Clayden-ing the wrong person! The whole class cracked up.

While we were coming towards the end, there was this posture where we had to be in this horizontal posture with our legs on the supporting ball and our hands supporting our body, whereby our body should be in a plank pose without any tummy sinking down.

"Now everybody else continue in this position while I check on Clayden. Yes, lift up the butt, no not the ribs, keep the ribs low, butt up butt up... yess, that's it..."

When it was "Okay everyone, thanks for coming!" you have no idea how relieved I was. We came out from the class with me staring at the beau. And he just laughed away. Bugger he must've told the instructor my name and asked that I was checked from time to time so that I won't injure myself. I know it's of a good intention. I sorta enjoy the attention myself...

But now 12 hours later, my forearms are hurting, my triceps are screaming, my upper back are sore...

Blissful

Duplicating Beau

Being in a relationship means you're with your other half no matter what, that's if you're in a monogamous relationship. And by saying that, eventually you'll get use to the other half of yours and sooner or later, unconciously, you'll notice that you'll copy some of his little actions. Or maybe more, for example, impatience in driving.

Aaaanyways...

We were on our way to the gym this afternoon. I was the driver this time. And all along the way, I cursed and cursed and cursed.

"Bloody driver! Don't know how to drive one is it?"

"What the fuck?! No need signal one ah?"

"Stupid aunty! Stick to your lane!"

"Fuck! Can you go faster pleasee!?!"

And the beau looked at me every other time I cursed. "Since when my dear become so impatient on the road? I thought all the while you're the one asking me to cool down?"

I wondered too. Maybe it was because I haven't been driving for a long time, and driving after taking a long break from driving somehow got me annoyed with those who has been driving everyday yet they drive as if they never drove before.

But more logically speaking, I wonder if it is because of the beau's "influence".

The beau protested, "You're suppose to learn the good attributes, not the bad one!"

And I replied, "There's this Chinese saying about easier to learn the bad attributes compared to the good one innit?"

Gaining Weight

Just the other day while we were out in the mall hunting for food, I noticed my shirt getting tighter. And there's much difficulty in breathing associated with some mild degree of bloatedness. But when there's a tinge of hunger crying for food, any food just seemed so ever appealing. We had a set dinner for 3, wallowed up in about 1 hour, and I gotta say I was so damn full.

On our way walking towards the car, I told the beau "I'm getting fatter."

"Yes you are."

"How? Should I go on fasting as well?"

"You yourself know that's not a healthy way."

"But I'm really getting fatter!" I had to squeeze on the spare tire through the tops. No matter how hard I tried to suck it in, I just can't help but to notice I really gained weight for the past few weeks!

I was pretty frustrated. This mouth of mine, and this huge tummy of mine... Ugh. Blame myself for not hitting the gym as often now. I really gotta burn this fast before I turn into some sumo wrestler.

Oh... I hope the beau won't be turned off while we were making love... Gotta switch off the lights!!! But we both know it won't work. He noticed the extra flabby waist one night since 2 months ago when we were hugging...

How frustrating! Love handles.

Horny Beau

So Clayden just got to know a new hunky guy from the internet, someone from Geneva. A man who worked in Geneva to be exact. They started to chat on MSN, and the first chat lasted for over an hour. The second time they chatted, was the following night, when they chatted for about 2 hours. They talked about life, about cultures, about gym, about their family, and everything under the sun. And before they knew it, they were chatting almost every night. And considering the time difference and all, you could imagine what odd hours both of them were in just to catch up.

Maybe it was just a temporary virtual fling, if you want to call it. But Clayden enjoyed it nonetheless.

It wasn't long before Clayden learnt that Geneva-hunk was going to come back Kuala Lumpur after his work was done in Geneva. And Clayden was already planning to meet up with him in person. It was a spontaneous decision.

"So I'll meet you in the gym tomorrow?"

"Sure. 012xxxxxxx. Call me when you reach."

That was it. They met up. And had dinner, which lasted for about 2 hours, before finally call it an end at the dinner.

And Clayden followed the hunk back to his apartment and they fucked like rabbits the whole night long, until both of them was too tired to wake up the next day, only to learn that it was lunch when they were finally recharged.

Little did he knew, 5 months after those meeting up for sex, they're together. And Clayden call his hunk the beau.

Right.

That would probably be true if the beau is sexually active before they met. I mean, well yeah, I would have wished the beau to be some horny guy who wanted to fuck 24/7, in the living room, in the bath room, on the kitchen counter, at the balcony, in the car on the floor by the door, any time they got the chance to. But the truth is, the beau's actually more of a real gentleman who was quite exactly the opposite of my fantasy of a boyfriend I wanted.

Until recently that, the beau started to get pretty horny while they were chatting, in the sense that, their conversation steering towards sexually explicit contents almost all the time. Well, after all those months together and all, he only started to learn that Clayden was pretty sexually active. But being a monogamous guy and all, he relied heavily on his hands for release.

More often than not, the beau would be asking "dear, what are you doing now? Watching porn and jerking off?" exactly at about the time when Clayden was stroking his slowly erecting cock.

"Should've asked me. I could come over and give you a blow." he'd continue.

Clayden finds it awkward. Just like how he was suddenly the "dear" instead of "dude" before they were together. Maybe, just maybe, before he knew it, the beau finally transformed into the sexy horny hunky beast he had been fantasizing, without losing his gentleman self.

Lowest Turn

I know I haven't been really updating this blog. But things have been going downhill for me. I haven't been really updating because I just couldn't bear the pain that I was going through.

I was laid off from my work because of a mistake I wasn't aware of. In fact, I didn't even know why I was placed in this "under monitoring" group of people by the management. Beau said it is the most absurd reason to fire me because I failed to seal the contract in Bangkok. After all I'm still a new worker in this company. Maybe not so new, but 3 years isn't exactly long considering I'm the youngest in my department.

My boss didn't give me a reason other than to tell me to behave myself while the director board monitor my performance. There are a few others who to me, were pretty hardworking workers too. And yet, out of no where, they came up with this trial period of "under monitoring" group of staff, to which, is sort of like a warning sign that we might be laid off anytime soon.

I'm not sure how the evaluation was like. I carried on with my work, although I guess I appeared to be less cheerful nowadays in the office.

Beau has introduced me to take this course for a certification that would allow me to improve myself. He said it is time that I upgrade and move on with my life. I don't know about it, but I'm taking the challange alright.

But with everything so messed up at the moment, I don't know if I could ace through the exam in about 6 weeks time. It came in just right in time as the supervisor was going to retire in a couple of months. This qualification would be a booster for me to get that position alright.

I just hope would make it.

Meanwhile, the beau's facing some financial difficulties. Not exactly a major one to the extent of selling off his properties and sort. But big enough to give me worries.

God... I really wish things will turn out alright soon...

Ferrero Rocher

And the beau arrived in front of the apartment after he told me over the phone half an hour earlier that he was caught in the jam. And I looked at him, the same man whose stuble was freshly groomed earlier the day I presumed. He looked back, and with this same expression none excited nor frustrated but a mix of curious and anxious, "what?"

"Nothing, just looking at my dear." I said. And turned to look at the road again. Cars were moving at snail-speed especially when it's in the fasting month and everyone's heading to the nearest restaurant to break fast or perhaps, their home.

He extended his hands over the sling pouch and opened the zip. We were talking about the selfish drivers of the city and how they were driving like crazy people who barely passed their traffic laws and what not, and I thought he wanted to take out his digital camera.

Except that this time, his "digital camera" appeared to be of a brand called "Ferrero Rocher".

"For my dear." He said while he was half trying to concentrate on the road and looking at me at the same time.

Sweet!

"Aww... Why are you wasting your money on these... I didn't even get anything for you!" And I felt so bad because I never gotten him anything before. Like, yeah, NONE!

"Just because. And I noticed my dear's pretty down lately too. So chocolate would do just fine to cheer you up."

I looked at him and smiled. "Can I open it now? You could make use of some yourself too." Knowing he'd probably lose his temper soon with all the traffics as such.

"Up to you, it's yours now. I can't find any of heart shaped, but I suppose this will do."

Are you kidding me? Of course it does! Anything would do. For all that he has done for me, and for all that we had gone through together, do you really think I would mind gifts still? Although, heart shaped chocolate would look pretty, erm, girlie to me. LOL.

Happy anniversary my darling... Love you lots.

Zanmai Sushi

I extended my hand beneath the table, and reached for the beau's thigh. His muscular quads is wrapped tightly under those jeans. Mmmh... Yummy... And before I knew it, the naughty hand was down around his crotch while he was flipping through the menu, stroking a few strokes with the intention of waking that giant up.

No response. And he continued to ask what I wanted despite me repeating, anything.

I opened his flyer, and slowly let the fingers crawled into the pants, reaching for that treasure. I pulled on the rubber edge of his undies and tried to poke the dragon while stroking on the back of the sleeping monster.

Still no response.

I pulled out the entire shaft, out from flyers beneath the table, and slowly stroke it. Rolling my thumbs over the glans of the penis, pre-cum were secreted soon enough, acting as the lubricants. Slowly, the dragon was finally waking up. It was pulsating under my fingers as I continued to stimulate on the glans.

No response.

When the giant was finally awake, standing erected beneath the table, I stroke it from the terminal of the shaft down to the base, slowly, and slowly increasing the speed.

No response still.

I increased my stroking speed, and I could feel the glans of the penis growing larger, and the pulsation was more obviouse. The beau fidgeted a little, but still trying to keep his cool, pretending not to feel anything.

As I felt the muscle rod contracting, when the milk was just about to be ejaculated, the waiter came. Damn!

Just kidding. LMAO. Dinner in Sushi Zanmai was uneventful, except from the fact that we were placed in small cubicles at the further inner part of the restaurant, just big enough to fit 2 person. Cute cubicle was my first word when we were led there. But the beau was obviously claustrophobic with such a small confinement. Had our dinner and finally left about 2 hours later.

Negative Man

I'm a negative man. And the beau is a positive man.

It took me weeks to get over a disappointments at work and I would sulk about it all day and all night and every day for the rest of the week. I don't feel good about it, but I just couldn't help it. It's in the heart and I just don't feel like doing anything. For the past week after I came back from Bangkok, I started to get busy with work, what's more with all the failed hopes that I caused in the company, I was even more discouraged.

I got tired and really depressed with work at the moment. My colleagues who were with Bangkok with me, they were all so energetic and, well yeah, we were all disappointed so to speak. But I just couldn't find the energy to move on like how they do.

Having said that, it's a bad feeling when the beau tried so hard to help cheer me up and it was all in vain.

"How come the same face, no expression at all? I thought a weekend back to your hometown to calm down would help." He spoke after meeting me for the first time since I got back from my short break.

"Can't expect myself to smile when I still feel as though I'm useless right?"

"Am not asking you to put on a false smile. I like my dear to be himself. But being in this way for a prolonged period isn't going to help. Come on, give me a smile."

I did forced a smile. Not exactly a forced one, the beau does cheer me up sometimes. Actually most of the time. Going out with him for a short dinner would always puts all the troubles and worries behind. And he knew he'd be looking at a tensed and emotionless face whenever we were to go back to our own home. I wished we never had to... Perhaps in the future. But alas, at the time being, us living in different places, being away from the beau reminds me of all the hardship I have to face again the following day at work. It sucks big time really.

I really wished I could find my confidence back again. It really means a lot to see me achieve success for once. I mean, at least to prove to my family and myself that I'm not as useless as I thought I am.

And what matters most, I really wish to share my success with the beau. Apart from my family.

"I shall be your photographer on the day when you hold that award in front of the company logo. Free of charge." That's what he always said to encourage me. For the positivity that he has and channels to me, I sincerely hope that my negativity would fade away...

Early Celebration

We didn't celebrate our 2nd and our 3rd anniversary because we were busy and were preoccupied. Him with his proffesional exam and me with my job. Next week onwards, there's more meetings and travelling coming my way. It didn't occured to me that we're coming towards the end of the month again. It's probably coming to the 11th month of our first meeting face to face, I'm not quite sure myself. But it's definitely the time where we'd look back and think, whoa, we happened...

"Dear, are you free on Friday night?" The beau asked me this afternoon.

"Should be okay. Can arrange some time. Why? I thought we're going out on Saturday?"

Knowing so that we'll be hitting the gym together like how we used to before we were even a couple.

"We could use up our Zanmai Sushi voucher... It's expiring remember?"

"Yes. Still a week to go."

"But you'll not be around next weekend..."

And he knows that I would be preoccupied with my work and I had to tend to the old folks' visiting town for a trip before heading over to the Island in the East.

"True..."

"It's our anniversary remember?"

I just smiled. He remembers.

Two months back we went to Zanmai Sushi for some hearty Japanese meal when we were given this RM10 voucher, expiring on the 31st of August. It was a few times that we mentioned about it, but heading over to the packed One Utama and The Garden just seemed unappealing, let alone Sunway Pyramid which seems so far from both of us nowadays, not to mention the overbearing parking in that mall. Therefore I've been having the voucher in my wallet for the past two months now, and we're using it up tomorrow night.

What a bliss! Our anniversary dinner in a Japanese restaurant. We decided to head over to the Garden as it was of the easiest accessibility despite One Utama being the nearest. Fair enough for me considering the mall in Damansara would be packed on a Friday night. Having said that, yes it's true that the sushi place in the Gardens wouldn't be any better as well. But ah well, Gardens it is then.

4 months down the road. What should I say? I still love him as much, more and more every day. He's who I want to be with. For he has, in all ways, supported me through the hardship and encouraged me when I'm stuffed with predicaments.

And every seconds that I'm still breathing, I'm so glad that we are together.

I love you, my dear.

Sending You The Last SMS

I walked to the International Terminal as the handsome Thai man checked my passport and my boarding pass. With a heavy heart, I was thinking how should I ever face the dim of KL again. Yes of course the beau will be there, but I suppose the anger and this cynical smirk of all those colleagues as well as the anger faces of the superiors. Man, the feeling of failing to seal off a contract is as bad as failing my finals back when I was in university...

As I board the plane, I sent the last text message to the beau in KL.

"Am gonna board the plane now. See you soon."

Throughout the flight, I was thinking of how I should be facing the superiors, why I failed to garnered the trust and sealed off this contract I've been working on. I don't believe it was my communication skills, and this is indeed a good deal. Just somehow, out of no where it seems that the clients decided to go for another company, like just one hour before we meet up. What happened then, I have no idea. Madam Boss would be furious... Let's just hope she would be alright after I explained... But knowing her, she's one whom you can't mess with... Gosh... my first assignment overseas and I failed...

The journey home wasn't that smooth. The plane jerked and plummered a few times. It was fun rather than just a smooth journey throughout. But looking out of the windows, and all I could see was dark clouds, all those nasty thoughts came in mind.

What if the plane crashed?

And I thought I'd send the last message to my loved ones right before I die. Or right before the plane explode.

"I love you. I'm really happy to know you." Sent. And "Ka-Boooom"!!!! I died instantly. Exploded into pieces and spread throughout wherever the plane crashed. Sea or jungle.

But I was in time to get the message sent to the family members, as well as the beau. And they'd be wondering why all of a sudden, and before I even reached my destination. But as the plane plunged lower into the atmosphere when the phone signal could be received, that was when I got all the messages sent.

2 hours later when the news came out, AirAxxx crashed on the way from Bangkok to KL.

And the family as well as the beau would be looking at the text message, wondering if it really was me who sent the message.

Sexy Butt

Face it people, it'll be a lie if you tell me physical appearance doesn't matter in a relationship. It's the first thing that gives you the first impression, good or bad, that's another matter altogether. There was once when the beau asked me what sort of men do I like. Well, that was after I asked him another question earlier.

"Dear, would you mind if I look at other men in the gym?"

"Why of course, it'll be a problem if you don't."

Green lights! For eye candy cruising.

Anyways, in return to his question, I showed him a picture. Tall. Buffed up. Big chest. Big arms. Big thighs. Big cocks. LMAO. Mmm yummy.

But I know the limits. And I'm so damn thankful I'm in a relationship with this special man. So I said, I love you for who you are, and not how you look like.

Although, well yes, there was a pinch of attraction in his physique from the start. Being a gym freak that he was, he's been in his present shape since, I don't know how long ago. 5 ft 8, 73kg. Ideal height and weight doncha think? There's no big chest and big arms as how I would always fantasize, but yeah, the beau is lean and toned and has got this rock-hard washboard abs. To top that off, his personality and characters. Perfect husband.

So it was only lately when we were staying together and got less shy of being totally nude around each other that I checked out his butt whenever he headed for shower. Ohh man... Gives me the hardon everytime. Not exactly a bubble butt, but bubbly enough to attract anybody out there to bite it. And when he bends over to pick up his stuff from the bag, his balls hung low and heavy. And his asscarck...

Okay I shall stop. The beau's reading.

Writer's Block

Aha.

There was one night when I was dancing the fingers away on the keyboard of my lappie when the beau leaned over from his side of the bed, looking at what I was doing. Not that I mind about it, after all monogamy is all about not keeping secrets from each other right? But having said that, we both understand the concept of private space.

Anyways, back to that night, while I was all serious with this wrinkles on my head trying to get the sentences right, the beau just stared at the screen. And I knew there and then that he aws reading as I typed.

Then finally, I turned to him and said, "Writer's block."

"Okay okay, I won't read I won't read... Carry on carry on."

It seemed that since the beau found out about ps I love you, he's been following the blog. Surprised? Not really. He knew that I've had a thing for writing, and well, I guessed I never got the chance to go into some big shot magazines as writers after I graduate. Or perhaps, I failed to write something as lavishly as William Shakespeare...

So here's the thing about why I started blogging. It's a platform for me to write. Perhaps as a fiction story writer. Just that, if you might want to know, the stories revolves around the daily happenings between a real life couple. Attention seeker, you might say. But who cares right? We're all at some point and to some extend. So suck it up and do what you like! LOLZ.

Oh well, the beau seemed to have one new thing to talk about nowadays that I'm writing. While we were on bed that night, and me having the laptop on the bed, he asked me about the blog.

"When's your new post coming up?"

"Why?? I don't have to write everyday right?"

"Of course you have to... You've got eager readers out there waiting to read."

"Yeah? Like who?"

"Mmm... Perhaps your followers on the blog?"

"Look who's talking."

And we ended smooching away. Right after I finished that post.

On the Sexcited Boy

The beau and I are opening up more day by day.

We did not hook up on Fridae or Gaydar, though I was at some point, hunting for men in there, but alas I decided to give up as most of the men that I went out with ended up with sex and well, nothing further. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I made sure my partner were satisfied with my dick in their asses. So... I stopped hunting and a few months later, the beau happened. And amazingly, not from Fridae or Gaydar.

We dated like how a normal straight boy would to a girl. Went out for supper after our classes, and slowly it progressed to dinners and lunches, and hanging out all day in Starbucks on the weekends, and we made it to the movies, and trips and finally, yeah he proposed, and I accepted.

Politely.

We were so polite at first that, well, I have to admit that I was not feeling really that all sexed up when I spent time with him. I mean, after all, we had been friends for so long, and never once I seen him naked, not even shirtless, let alone in his underwear. So it only happened in our first trip together that we got naked together on bed... Oh well... parts and parcel of a relationship.

So anyways, there was one night when he drove around town when we missed one junction and we had to drove further up the road to make a big turn so that we could get home. I wasn't sure what put the beau in such a jolly after he withdrew some money from the bank, perhaps he was all sexcited anticipating the hot sexy raunchy rodeo ride that night. And since he was in his chitty chatty mode, he spoke non-stop, yada this yada that.

"We might have to pass through the chickens lane."

"The what?"

"The chickens."

"Oh... Ooh WOOOO!!! Let's go let's go!"

"Whoa whoa! Since when my dear got all sexcited with chicks?"

Hmm... maybe since I haven't had any sexposure for the past one week? LMAO.

And well, if you were expecting detail steps by steps story as to how we progress in bed, perhaps there are more explicit blogs out there. I prefer to be a, hmm, provocative writer. But here's a header, we started off surfing the net, naked.

How could I care for you??

The beau and I decided to take the weekend off sometime ago for our anniversary. We haven't had much time for trips and we've wanted to since the longest time ever. Well, partly it was due to myself. I was tied down with the work and dateline and ugh. So when the Queen of Narnia finally approved my leave for Friday and Monday, we took off driving to some UNESCO site 4 hours away.

See, the beau isn't that much of a guy who fall sick easily. Having been avid gymmer, the both of us, or so I thought I am, we're out of bound from being down with fever or flu. Well, perhaps I'm the weaker one between us both. So that day when he came to pick me up from my place, I noticed he looked terrible, and tired.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah yeah I'm fine, why?"

"You don't look fine. Are you sure you can drive?"

"Of course... just a bit of dry throat... but that's all. Don't worry dear."

We made it to our booked hotel that night. After having our dinner and some dramas not-worth mentioning at this Chinaman stall, we headed back to our room. I didn't know what to do. The beau was tired and looked exhausted. I mean, well it's natural to be tired from driving long distance, but he looked extremely worn out. It wasn't long before I think he's down with fever. He finally admitted that he was too. Stubborn man he was.

That night, I stayed up while looking at this man sleep. We opened the window instead. Not the policy of the hotel, but who cares. He was sleeping all so soundly on bed. I had him this children fever cooling bad that I got from the convenient store downstairs. On and off while I was chatting away with my cousin overseas, I turned to look at the man I love all so dearly.

"I'll be the good boy tonight then." He smiled when I came back into the room with the pad earlier.

"Be a good child and rest early." I said.

I was clueless as to how I could help. I don't know what medications to get him, and even if I know, I wouldn't know where to either. This place isn't exactly my territory... The cousin told me to just let him rest. He probably was just down with mild bouts of fever, and will be up and about the next day if he sweats that night.

True enough, he sweated pail underneath the comforter. And we spent the rest of our holidays in heaven...

Shoulda just let me know!

It has been a norm over the past few weeks since I moved house that, I'll walk out to the bus-stop a stone's throw away from my run-down flat, so that the beau wouldn't need to turn into the small rugged lane to pick me up. Being all considerate I am.

Despite being run-down and all, well at least I think it's pretty comfortable after refurnishing and what nots, and well, I'm now closer to the beau. In terms of distance of course.

The other day when we planned to hit town for our usual hanging out in the regular cafe, I was all ready to head out to the bus-stop when I realized it was drizzling. And my first thought would be to give him a call and told him I better stay in and wait for him. But on second thought, why be a sissy when he's been the one driving out and pick me up all these while? And so, I braved myself, sheltering whenever possible and reached the bus-stop in 10 minutes.

That was when I realized I had a miscall from the beau and a text message to which I failed to answer promptly. I called him without hesitant.

"Hey, where are you now? Is it raining at your place?" His unusually concerned voice traveled through before I could say hi.

"No no, I'm already at the bus stop."

"You should've just let me know and I'll come in to pick you up! Is it raining heavily?"

"No no, it was just a drizzle. Where are you now?"

"Be there in 5. See you later."

There was this bout of concern with a tinge of anger. Or that was how I interpreted it. The first time, but I guess it was just out of concern really. We had this talk earlier that we should be straight-forward to each other and not to keep things to ourselves. Therefore, he told me from the start that it is his nature and sometimes, he might be too straight-forward that I would feel hurt. Well, at least he gave me a warning. LOL.

And so, we headed to our regular couch in the city for a lazy Sunday afternoon.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"Your voice is different. And you sounded as if you have a flu."

"It was the haze. I have sensitive nose."

And now I'm wondering how could I help...